Essay Help

So i used this essay for the common application but i am also thinking of using it to apply for scholarships.

The original prompt is Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

Please let me know if there is anything for me to expand on. Thx


What tomorrow might bring
The first time I heard it, I was speechless. I was in awe of what was set before me. I was caught
off guard in ways that I wasn’t prepared for. There I was in the summer of 09 on a hot summer’s day looking at a computer screen just completely baffled. With my mouth open and my eyes wide I sat back to enjoy the euphoria that swelled over me like ocean waves. My life had been forever changed, for what was emitting from that computer, to my headphones, into my ears was the song my life had been waiting for: Purexed.

Let me step back and put this in perspective. Have you heard of Newton’s apple, the supposed
reason for his three laws of physics? Well this song was my apple. When it dropped and the chorus hit me like a brick everything came clear. Very few times in my life had I experienced a chilling, life altering event like this one. I was stunned. My life had new meaning. Between the fast drums, the angelic melodies, and the clear and very precise lyrics I found not another message, or place to be inspired, but I found myself. I found myself in a song. I was told to live a life worth living, to be myself no matter what, to stand on my own two feet, and to never give up. All summer, I listened to that song and every time I did, it was something new to me. Sometimes the song comforted me, sometimes it enlightened.

The song became my medication, healing me when things didn’t go as planned. I remember one
day in particular, during the following school year, that was exceptionally crappy. In a nut shell, I was an over-emotional, heartbroken mess, who had just made a couple of bad grades. Emotionally
compromised would be an understatement. Normally when bad turned to worse, I would either find an outlet for my troubles, or compress my feelings into a bubble rigged to explode when something equally as or more drastic occurred. This was definably a compressing time and it felt that way as my thoughts clogged from pressure, and my heart beat echoed thought my veins. The situation was deterioration quickly and before I knew it I didn't know where I was. The bell ringing was my only indication that I was still in school and the chaotic rush to the gate could only mean that school was letting out.

After throwing myself into the crowd of people to lose the gazes of my friends and of course the
all important soul crushing object of my affection, I found myself on the concrete sidewalk outside of the school. I turned the corner and sat against the brick wall at the side of the school. There as I watched the cars zoom by and strangers walk past I searched my pockets for my I-pod. Seconds later after I inserted the ear buds into my ears and pressed play, everything around me was calm and quiet. It felt as though no one was there. I closed my eyes and absorbed my medicine through my ear canals holding on to every note. There in my makeshift sanctuary I knew then that nothing could hurt me.

I stood up and leaned against the brick wall, dried my eyes and smiled as I meet my friends one
by one. As we waited for our rides home the red haired object of my affection walked by and I gave her a wave and a very sincere smile. Although she thought nothing of it and went on about her business I felt accomplished.

Now-a-days when I hear the song, even if I don’t feel like listening to it I remember how important it has been to me. I still apply what I have learned from that song to everything I do. And even when bad turns to worse like its prone to do sometimes I don’t completely lose it. I sit back, kick the track and remember how “not to blink at what tomorrow might bring, at all.


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