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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Essay - help!
I had help with this and still sounds wrong. Please Help!
My grandparent's house was full of interesting furniture. My grandmother was a seamstress and my grandfather was a carpenter, almost everything they owned they had made or modified to better fit their needs. My mother takes after both of them, she bought a couch for an odd space in our livingroom and completely transfromed it. Surrounded by this concept of making and improving things, it was apparent at an early age, that I was also taking after my grandparents when I started transforming toys.
Academically, I have been an average student, but I excelled in the school projects that involved creating. I never joined in any of the extracurricular activities offered by the school but for the past three years, I've held a dog walking job and during the summers, I am a certified lifeguard at the local pools. I am not too sure of what I want in life but I do know what I like and I have lots of dreams.
The process of looking into colleges left me overloaded with information yet, engineering seemed to grab my attention every time. The opportunities to turn ideas into reality and to improve the things we already use everyday was the main attraction. After some research and self-assessment, I came to the conclusion that engineering was for me.
My grandparent's house was full of interesting furniture. My grandmother was a seamstress and my grandfather was a carpenter, almost everything they owned they had made or modified to better fit their needs. My mother takes after both of them, she bought a couch for an odd space in our livingroom and completely transfromed it. Surrounded by this concept of making and improving things, it was apparent at an early age, that I was also taking after my grandparents when I started transforming toys.
Academically, I have been an average student, but I excelled in the school projects that involved creating. I never joined in any of the extracurricular activities offered by the school but for the past three years, I've held a dog walking job and during the summers, I am a certified lifeguard at the local pools. I am not too sure of what I want in life but I do know what I like and I have lots of dreams.
The process of looking into colleges left me overloaded with information yet, engineering seemed to grab my attention every time. The opportunities to turn ideas into reality and to improve the things we already use everyday was the main attraction. After some research and self-assessment, I came to the conclusion that engineering was for me.
Top answer
I want to keep to your words as much as possible. However, this does need a little touching up and repunctuation. My changes are in bold; my notes are in brackets.
- I want to keep to your words as much as possible.
- However, this does need a little touching up and repunctuation.
- My changes are in bold; my notes are in brackets.
- My grandparent's house was full of interesting furniture.
- My grandmother was a seamstress and my grandfather was a carpenter : almost everything they owned they had made or modified to better fit their needs.
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1 Answers
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I want to keep to your words as much as possible. However, this does need a little touching up and repunctuation. My changes are in bold; my notes are in brackets.
My grandparent's house was full of interesting furniture. My grandmother was a seamstress and my grandfather was a carpenter: almost everything t
My grandparent's house was full of interesting furniture. My grandmother was a seamstress and my grandfather was a carpenter: almost everything t
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