ESSAY FOR IELTS WRITING. Plz help me to check it

TOPIC: Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

There is a controversial question of whether zoos should close or not, as many people think it is not proper does not conform to ethical standards, whereas zoo advocates reckon that wild animals can have the best protection there. In my opinion, I agree with the latter view due to the following analyses because of its significant advantages.

On the one hand, it is true that the freedom of animals in zoos is limited, which is cruel to any organism. Animals have to live in captivity and cannot have as good habitation as they have had. They are supervised by zoo's staves most of the time and often hindered from doing something that zookeepers find harmful. Regardless of having a positive or negative influence, it is evil that animals do not have the liberty to live their own lives. However, animals usually have optimum living conditions in zoos. They do not need to struggle in a harsh environment and are fully fed in zoos. If they enjoy this treatment, it is not anymore the issue of cruelty to open zoos.

On the other hand, animals are much safer in zoos than in their natural habitats. Wildlife animals have to combat with other individuals or species to survive. Comparing to that fierce competition, living in a zoo with support from humans can help them to have an easier life and also hedge the bet of losing sources of genetic variation on the Earth. Indeed, animals are always taken care of and provided sufficient food and drinks by zookeepers. Therefore, the jeopardy rate of animals' fatality in zoos is much lower than in the wild environment.

In conclusion, I agree that while opening zoos can be attributed to world-wild animal protection, banning it is not a good idea as no concrete evidence showed that animals do not enjoy a zoo life.