Essay for CAE, need a check

Good afternoon. I would be most grateful if somebody could correct my essay and provide me with his/her opinion regarding the language and the tone that I used. Thanks to everybody in advance.

You have read an online article about changes in the types of subject taught at secondary schools. The article says that some traditional subjects may no longer be taught at school. Four of the subjects discussed are mentioned below, along with some of the readers’ comments.

Which subjects may no longer be taught at secondary school?
Music	‘Most students who are interested in music take lessons out of school.’
Geography	‘Why do we need to know the names of rivers and mountains around the world?’
History	‘It’s all about the past. At schools, we need to be focussing on the future.’
Art	‘Art lessons allow kids to explore their creativity.’

Write an essay discussing TWO of the subjects mentioned above. You should explain why you think these subjects should continue to be taught at secondary schools, giving reasons to support your answer.

Educational system stands on the verge of change. While our general education may provide us with informations from all subjects, these amounts are limited by each ones memory. Most of the population forget around seventy percent of what were they taught in secondary school. People call for reforms which would eject some subjects from the timetable. But which subjects should continue to be taught at school ?

It would be advisable to further teach Geography as it provides pupils with wide range of knowledge about different countries. In my opinion it might also prevent xenophobia taking into consideration that xenophobia develops from misinformation or a lack of information about various cultures.

Furthermore it encourages students to learn about miscellaneous nations and varianties of thinking. I would not consider Geography as a potential field of employment but rather as a vital part of the basic education.

I would suggest to preserve History as well. It is rightfully said that History is the mother of wisdom and those who do not learn from History may never learn at all. Past events and their outcomes provide us with a significant insights into human thinking and are rich in answers to moral and emotional dilemmas.

To conclude History and Geography are both valuable assets to personal and national development. For this reason they should remain on the list of mandatory subjects.