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Summer3 Posted 19 years ago
Letter Writing
Essay Correction: Pls help me!
0 Dear friends, 02 br
02 br
00 I have to write few essays for my admission purpose. My first essay is given below. Could you please correct it and also suggest some more points which I can add in it and also how to end this essay? Please help me. The essay length can be between 100 and 500 words. The one which I have written below has 300 words length. 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 Essay: What do you wish to be doing in five years time in your professional life? 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Last winter vacation, my husband and I were browsing some interview and job sites as he was looking for a change. I was helping him with some interview questions and suddenly I was struck by the same question. Did I ever ask the same question to myself? Whether I would be happy what I am doing right now and keep doing it happily even after five years from now? 02 br
02 br
00 Right from the beginning, I have had many challenges to reach the place where I am today. Life was never a smooth sailing for me. And now I feel relaxed with very simple problems but no big challenges any more. To be honest, challenge is like water to me. One can live without it only for few days but it is an essential requirement for life. I may be enjoying my present but this is not what I see myself after five years. 02 br
02 br
00 Here is my dream: A day in my future started with a successful business meeting where I introduced new policies which were benefecial to the company as well as the employees, helping them to improve their performance, solving their problems and finally the day ended with a smile on my face as well as the staff. 01 b 01 i 00 (face of employees) 02 i 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Yes, you guessed it correctly! I see myself as a successful Human Resource Manager or working as a manager in a personnel department in an organization, 01 b 01 i 00 who (I) 02 i 02 b 00 is working for the greatest asset of the company: Human force. It is a most challenging area of any business and the success of an organization mainly depends on its human force. In simple words, an organization is a big family. Working as a key factor in a big family and making every body satisfied, solving their problems and 01 b 01 i 00 making (repetition) 02 i 02 b 00 it a successful family is a great challenge which I want to face successfully. 02 br
00 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 02 br
02 br
00 The essay should be an honest answer to the question. It's my first time to write any essay so I am confused how to write it and especially for admission purpose for a B-school. I checked few sites and they suggested that B-schools do not want very difficult vocabulary in their essays and just need the honest impression of your answer. 02 br
02 br
00 The words written in bold and italic in the essay are the points where I am not sure whether it is correct usage or not. 02 br
02 br
00 Thanks in advance! 02 br
02 br
00 Best regards, 02 br
00 Summer 0-
02 br
00 I have to write few essays for my admission purpose. My first essay is given below. Could you please correct it and also suggest some more points which I can add in it and also how to end this essay? Please help me. The essay length can be between 100 and 500 words. The one which I have written below has 300 words length. 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 Essay: What do you wish to be doing in five years time in your professional life? 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Last winter vacation, my husband and I were browsing some interview and job sites as he was looking for a change. I was helping him with some interview questions and suddenly I was struck by the same question. Did I ever ask the same question to myself? Whether I would be happy what I am doing right now and keep doing it happily even after five years from now? 02 br
02 br
00 Right from the beginning, I have had many challenges to reach the place where I am today. Life was never a smooth sailing for me. And now I feel relaxed with very simple problems but no big challenges any more. To be honest, challenge is like water to me. One can live without it only for few days but it is an essential requirement for life. I may be enjoying my present but this is not what I see myself after five years. 02 br
02 br
00 Here is my dream: A day in my future started with a successful business meeting where I introduced new policies which were benefecial to the company as well as the employees, helping them to improve their performance, solving their problems and finally the day ended with a smile on my face as well as the staff. 01 b 01 i 00 (face of employees) 02 i 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Yes, you guessed it correctly! I see myself as a successful Human Resource Manager or working as a manager in a personnel department in an organization, 01 b 01 i 00 who (I) 02 i 02 b 00 is working for the greatest asset of the company: Human force. It is a most challenging area of any business and the success of an organization mainly depends on its human force. In simple words, an organization is a big family. Working as a key factor in a big family and making every body satisfied, solving their problems and 01 b 01 i 00 making (repetition) 02 i 02 b 00 it a successful family is a great challenge which I want to face successfully. 02 br
00 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 02 br
02 br
00 The essay should be an honest answer to the question. It's my first time to write any essay so I am confused how to write it and especially for admission purpose for a B-school. I checked few sites and they suggested that B-schools do not want very difficult vocabulary in their essays and just need the honest impression of your answer. 02 br
02 br
00 The words written in bold and italic in the essay are the points where I am not sure whether it is correct usage or not. 02 br
02 br
00 Thanks in advance! 02 br
02 br
00 Best regards, 02 br
00 Summer 0-
Top answer
1 b 00 I've made a few corrections in bold. 02 b 02 br 02 br 01 b 00 During the last 02 b 00 winter vacation, my husband and I were browsing some interview and job sites as he was looking for a change. I was helping him with some interview questions and suddenly I was struck by the same question.
- 1 b 00 I've made a few corrections in bold.
- 02 b 02 br 02 br 01 b 00 During the last 02 b 00 winter vacation, my husband and I were browsing some interview and job sites as he was looking for a change.
- I was helping him with some interview questions and suddenly I was struck by the same question.
- Did I ever ask the same question 01 b 00 of 02 b 00 myself?
- Whether I 00 would be happy what 00 I am doing right now and 00 keep doing it happily even after five years from now?
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6 Answers
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1 b 00 I've made a few corrections in bold. You need to look again at the highlighted parts. 02 b 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 During the last 02 b 00 winter vacation, my husband and I were browsing some interview and job sites as he was looking for a change. I was helping him with some interview questions and suddenly I was struck by the same question. Did I ever
02 br
01 b 00 During the last 02 b 00 winter vacation, my husband and I were browsing some interview and job sites as he was looking for a change. I was helping him with some interview questions and suddenly I was struck by the same question. Did I ever
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0 00 During the last winter vacation, my husband and I were browsing some interview and job sites as he was looking for a change. I was helping him with some interview questions and suddenly I was struck by the same question. Did I ever ask the same question 01 b 00 of 02 b 00 (of?!<--why not 01 b 01 i 00 to 02 i 02 b 00 ? OR 01 u 01 i
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0 Dear friends, 02 br
02 br
00 Please give your feedback and correct my essay. Thanks! 02 br
02 br
00 Regards, 0-
02 br
00 Please give your feedback and correct my essay. Thanks! 02 br
02 br
00 Regards, 0-
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Summer3Dear friends,Trust
Please give your feedback and correct my essay. Thanks!
Regards,
A two way process, hard to earn, and easy to lose. To trust is to willingly give up control, making you vulnerable to someone else for a certain outcome or consequence. Trust grows as a result of positive experiences accumulated over tim
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well, a essay in our schools are supposed to have a thesis with 3 proving arguments so that the reader could be convinced for what you are saying. if its a opinion question, its the same thing.
check the essay rules online. and i am not really sure whats a b school
check the essay rules online. and i am not really sure whats a b school
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Dear friends,
I am having a mind block with the correction of a paper I am writing. I am supposed to describe my career plans, goals and personal ambitions. I hope someone can help I will gladly appreciate it!
I am having a mind block with the correction of a paper I am writing. I am supposed to describe my career plans, goals and personal ambitions. I hope someone can help I will gladly appreciate it!
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