Essay Correction
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I have an essay that needs correcting. I would love to receive your feedback on my writing. I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at my piece 
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In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
People’s opinion differs as to whether or not living alone is the better choice nowadays than in the past. While there are some strong arguments in favor of that ideas, I still believe that multiple generations should choose to live together for maintaining strong family relationships.
There are several reasons why living alone actually become popular nowadays. Firstly, young generation seemly want to be more independent when choosing separately from their family. They may decide doing whatever they want, coming home late at night or having more private relationships without getting troubles with their parents. Secondly, this may be an effective method to evaluate the ability of personal financial management. Without the support from parents, young people who has independent life can learn how to organize their finances sensibly and this will be an important key contributing to the success of their later life when they get married.
However, living together in family is the best way to strengthen family relationship. Nowadays, with the development of digital era, members of the family can easily keep in touch just by a click. But this is just the ideal condition, the fact actually that people are busier nowadays and the time they spend on to keep in touch with the family is less. By living together in a family, family relationships can be built through daily activities such as chatting at mealtimes, watching TV together and so forth. Therefore, family connections are built day by day using not only world but also daily activities together.
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, my own view is that living together makes a contribution to closer connection between family members.
Violet
Top answer
People’s opinion differs [People's opinions differ ] as to whether or not living alone is the better choice nowadays [ 'Nowadays' itself implies a comparison with the past, so there is no need for both phrases. ] than in the past. While there are some strong arguments in favor of that ideas [ 'This' and 'that' are the only two adjectives in modern English which must agree in number with the noun they modify .
- People’s opinion differs [People's opinions differ ] as to whether or not living alone is the better choice nowadays [ 'Nowadays' itself implies a comparison with the past, so there is no need for both phrases.
- ] than in the past.
- While there are some strong arguments in favor of that ideas [ 'This' and 'that' are the only two adjectives in modern English which must agree in number with the noun they modify .
- Perhaps you mean 'of both views' ], I still believe that multiple generations should choose to live together for maintaining [ in order to maintain ] strong family relationships.
- q=%22people%27s+opinions+differ%22&lr=lang_en&tbs=lr:lang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=TbQpXL-cOcHO8wXo9p_wCg&start=10&sa=N&ved=0ahUKEwj_9ujbtcnfAhVB57wKHWj7B644FBDy0wMIZA&biw=1240&bih=958&dpr=1 There are several reasons why living alone actually become [ A period starting at an undefined time in the past and extending up to now needs present perfect.
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People’s opinion differs [People's opinions differ] as to whether or not living alone is the better choice nowadays ['Nowadays' itself implies a comparison with the past, so there is no need for both phrases.] than in the past. While there are some strong arguments in favor of that ideas ['This
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