Essay Correction . ~

0Hi guys. ^^02br
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00I had to write an essay for Homework02br
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00If you can kindly read my essay and give some corrections and comment, 00i will be glad.02br
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00Harsh comments are acceptable so feel free to give corrections and comments. lol02br
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00Thank you. 02br
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01b00Assignment:02b00 00Do you agree that persistence is the major factor in success, and that talent, genius, and education play, at best, secondary roles? In an essay, support your position by discussing an example (or examples) from literature, science and technology, the arts, current events, or your own experience or observation.02br
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00Educational Background has been a very important factor of success in modern society. Graduates of world’s top schools such as “Harvard” or “Oxford” were known to be leaders and elites of the society. A ten year old boy got an acceptance from university in South Korea. This ten year old boy completed his secondary education and is studying on his post-secondary education. He is sure to be called a “talented and gifted” or a “genius” by others. Nonetheless, will these factors such as education, talent and genius be the major factor in success?02br
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00“Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration” – Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931). According to Edison’s famous quotation, ninety-nine per cent of perspiration creates a genius. In his quotation, talents are just a part of inspiration. Perspiration, or similarly, persistence is what leads people succeed. Warren Buffett, the world’s second leading billionaire, was neither gifted nor talented. When he was young, he was just a boy who was interested in stock market. There, he jumped into the market and started to buy shares at the age of 11. Obviously, at first, he had lost money more than he earned. However, he did not stop; he studied through media, articles, and books and tried hard to be a professional in stock market and investment. In result, he had become one of the world’s most renowned men. He achieved his success with no talent but effort and persistence. He is now 77 years old and his favorite hobby is reading. Neither “talented” nor “genius” brings success but persistence, or perspiration is what creates talented, genius and brings success. 02br
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00Persistence overcomes educational background. Just because one’s a Harvard graduate, he or she won’t guarantee success. Thomas Alva Edison is famed as a magician of invention, as he invented over hundreds of devices which greatly influenced life around the world. However, the amazing aspect is that Edison is an elementary drop-out. He never got education from school since his drop-out, a fact that shows persistence overcame education. Nevertheless, it is possible to argue that in Edison’s era, a good education background only applied to nobles and wealthy people. Yet, think about a case of world’s most renowned billionaire, Bill Gates. He is a post-secondary drop out. He had no interest in his post-secondary education, he did not much care about educational background but there, he is now world’s wealthiest man since 1995. The only factor that overcomes education is persistence and perspiration,02br
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00As time goes on, parents and students strictly believe that either talented or educational background is the key to the success. However, they should not forget “what” creates genius and good education. Persistence is “what” creates genius and academic background. Without persistence or perspiration, success is meaningless. 0-