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What would you rate this essay, and could you give me some advice?

Do not forget your helmet !

The Netherlands accounts for the highest number of cyclists in the world. No matter how awful the weather is, or whether their destination is just nearby or far away, the Dutch definitely do not hesitate to use their cycle as a means of transport. It goes without saying that this habit is extremely beneficial, since it does not contribute to global warming. In addition it is a great way of burning calories. However, the intensive use of cycling does have a downside too. Over the past few years the number of cyclists that has sustained severe injuries due to accidents in traffic has increased. In response, the government has raised the idea to enforce a law which obliges cyclists to wear a helmet. The aim of this essay is to give arguments that advocate for implementing this law.

First of all it would be a wise idea to make wearing a helmet compulsory as purchasing it does not require a lot of money and is convenient to use. I can imagine cyclists do not want more rules to worry about, such as disposing over good brakes, a bicycle bell and lighting of their cycle, which all compromise on their freedom. For this reason a helmet comes as an easy solution for protection as you can take it along with you wherever you want.

Secondly, I want to address the main reason for wearing a helmet, which is obviously to reduce the number of victims in traffic accidents. In nearly every case when a car collides with a cyclist, grievous bodily harm is inflicted on the cyclist, which lasts a lifetime. According to research, much of the damage being done in such horrific accidents can be reduced significantly by simply wearing some kind of proper head protection. Moreover, submitting this law will enable us to cut down on healthcare costs considerably.

Lastly, considering the current trend of our aging population, and the growing popularity of the electric cycle, wearing helmets are of utmost importance. Oftentimes, it are the elderly who fall victim to accidents because of their deteriorated vision, mobility and hearing. This, combined with their extensive use of electric cycles, which can reach high velocities, can be extremely dangerous. A helmet would surely guarantee more safety.

To summarize, enforcement of a new law which obliges everyone to wear helmets during cycling is an excellent idea. Not only is it affordable for everyone, but it is also convenient to use. Wearing a helmet is an effective precautionary measure to guarantee more safety for cyclists in traffic and to prevent much harm inflicted on them in a possible accident. Another reason is the increase of elderly and their widely use of the electric cycle, which makes them more prone to be harmed. So next time we go for a ride, we should not forget to wear a helmet.

482 words

Baai · Accepted Answer

I wrote this essay below. Can anyone show me if there are any mistakes and give me some advice? Thanks in advance.

Do not forget your helmet !

The Netherlands accounts for the highest number of cyclists in the world. No matter how awful the weather is, or whether their destination is just nearby or far away, the Dutch definitely do not hesitate to use their cycle as a means of transport. It goes without saying that this habit is extremely beneficial, since it does not contribute to global warming. In addition it is a great way of burning calories. However, the intensive use of cycling does have a downside too. Over the past few years the number of cyclists that has sustained severe injuries due to accidents in traffic has increased. In response, the government has raised the idea to enforce a law which obliges cyclists to wear a helmet. The aim of this essay is to give arguments that advocate for implementing this law.

First of all it would be a wise idea to make wearing a helmet compulsory as purchasing it does not require a lot of money and is convenient to use. I can imagine cyclists do not want more rules to worry about, such as disposing over good brakes, a bicycle bell and lighting of their cycle, which all compromise on their freedom. For this reason a helmet comes as an easy solution for protection as you can take it along with you wherever you want.

Secondly, I want to address the main reason for wearing a helmet, which is obviously to reduce the number of victims in traffic accidents. In nearly every case when a car collides with a cyclist, grievous bodily harm is inflicted on the cyclist, which lasts a lifetime. According to research, much of the damage being done in such horrific accidents can be reduced significantly by simply wearing some kind of proper head protection. Moreover, submitting this law will enable us to cut down on healthcare costs considerably.

Lastly, considering the current trend of our aging population, and the growing popularity of the electric cycle, wearing helmets are of utmost importance. Oftentimes, it are the elderly who fall victim to accidents because of their deteriorated vision, mobility and hearing. This, combined with their extensive use of electric cycles, which can reach high velocities, can be extremely dangerous. A helmet would surely guarantee more safety.

To summarize, enforcement of a new law which obliges everyone to wear helmets during cycling is an excellent idea. Not only is it affordable for everyone, but it is also convenient to use. Wearing a helmet is an effective precautionary measure to guarantee more safety for cyclists in traffic and to prevent much harm inflicted on them in a possible accident. Another reason is the increase of elderly and their widely use of the electric cycle, which makes them more prone to be harmed. So next time we go for a ride, we should not forget to wear a helmet.

482 words

Baai 92 · Answer

I wrote this essay for an exam I do in the Netherlands, the minimum amount of words is 300. Could anyone read it and give me some feedback/advice and point out any errors? Someone said my essay is a somewhat wordy. If you think the same, could you please show me where this is the case and show me how I could have done it differently?

Thanks in advance.

Do not forget your helmet

Thanks in advance.

Do not forget your helmet !

The Netherlands accounts for the highest number of cyclists in the world. No matter how awful the weather is, or whether their destination is just nearby or far away, the Dutch definitely do not hesitate to use their cycle as a means of transport. It goes without saying that this habit is extremely beneficial, since it does not contribute to global warming. In addition it is a great way of burning calories. However, the intensive use of cycling does have a downside too. Over the past few years the number of cyclists that has sustained severe injuries due to accidents in traffic has increased. In response, the government has raised the idea to enforce a law which obliges cyclists to wear a helmet. The aim of this essay is to give arguments that advocate for implementing this law.

First of all it would be a wise idea to make wearing a helmet compulsory as purchasing it does not require a lot of money and is convenient to use. I can imagine cyclists do not want more rules to worry about, such as disposing over good brakes, a bicycle bell and lighting of their cycle, which all compromise on their freedom. For this reason a helmet comes as an easy solution for protection as you can take it along with you wherever you want.

Secondly, I want to address the main reason for wearing a helmet, which is obviously to reduce the number of victims in traffic accidents. In nearly every case when a car collides with a cyclist, grievous bodily harm is inflicted on the cyclist, which lasts a lifetime. According to research, much of the damage being done in such horrific accidents can be reduced significantly by simply wearing some kind of proper head protection. Moreover, submitting this law will enable us to cut down on healthcare costs considerably.

Lastly, considering the current trend of our aging population, and the growing popularity of the electric cycle, wearing helmets are of utmost importance. Oftentimes, it are the elderly who fall victim to accidents because of their deteriorated vision, mobility and hearing. This, combined with their extensive use of electric cycles, which can reach high velocities, can be extremely dangerous. A helmet would surely guarantee more safety.

To summarize, enforcement of a new law which obliges everyone to wear helmets during cycling is an excellent idea. Not only is it affordable for everyone, but it is also convenient to use. Wearing a helmet is an effective precautionary measure to guarantee more safety for cyclists in traffic and to prevent much harm inflicted on them in a possible accident. Another reason is the increase of elderly and their widely use of the electric cycle, which makes them more prone to be harmed. So next time we go for a ride, we should not forget to wear a helmet.

482 words

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