ESSAY

Question

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Nowadays, in modern world, with development technology 4.0 The Internet become popular should be communicate benefits with everyone around globe. However, someone thinks Internet has caused people to be isolated from their reals lives. From my point a view, I disagreed with this opinion because Internet bring transport communication fast and convenient. This essay will discuss good points Internet keep in touch help everyone contact  with together and they find new friends from many different place.First, in term of communication, The Internet makes it easier for people to keep in touch with relatives.  For instance, nowadays, in modern world with develop technology currently many social networking like as Facebook, Zalo… provide fast for user to contact with their family members, friends anywhere. Furthermore, they can call video or send message in a few seconds with foreigners communicating the language and culture with each other.Beside of, there are valuable merits for user cannot be eliminated. In addition, the Internet is great transport to find new friends and find information. Through social network, such as Facebook and Twitter, everyone can find a suitable person with many points in common and they interact through their computers rather than face to face. Thanks for Internet connection, most of people use social networks, connect make friends from many different place and share soft skills or language with each other.To summary, although the Internet bring to advantage in communicating but it is  not possible that we abuse it indifferently to everyone. If people use the Internet in a wise approach, it will be become important in part of life.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Nowadays, in modern world, with development technology 4.0 (This makes no sense. "development technology" is not a product. The Internet does not have versions like computer software.) The (wrong capitalization) Internet become popular should be communicate benefits (ungrammatical sentence structure) with everyone around globe. However, someone (One person in the entire world? ) thinks Internet has caused people to be isolated from their reals (wrong form) lives. From my point a (wrong word) view, I disagreed (wrong form) with this opinion because Internet bring (wrong form) transport communication (wrong expression. Transport is moving things on boats or trucks.) ) fast and convenient. (wrong form) This essay (Never mention your essay, your writing, or what you are going to tell the reader in an academic essay. Write a thesis statement.) will discuss good points Internet keep in touch help everyone contact with together (ungrammatical.) and they find new friends from many different place. (Wrong form)

Most of your writing is not grammatically correct English. You need to write simple sentences first. Then you can learn to write longer sentences.

Here is a model for your first paragraph:

In the modern world, internet access is available all over the world. There are millions of people using the internet every day. But some people think that the internet has caused people to be isolated from real life. They live in a virtual world, not the real world. From my point of view, I disagree with this. Among other positive qualities, the internet has allowed people to communicate with each other and find friends in many places.

First, in term (wrong form) of communication, The Internet makes it easier for people to keep in touch with relatives. For instance, nowadays, in modern world with develop technology (wrong phrase. This does not make sense.) currently many social networking websites like as Facebook, Zalo… (wrong usage. Never use ellipses, "etc." and phrases like "and so on" in formal essays.) ) provide fast (wrong usage - ... provide a fast way...) for user (wrong form) to contact with their family members, and friends (in a list or series, you MUST use a conjunction before the last item.) anywhere. Furthermore, they can call video (wrong usage ) or send messages in a few seconds with foreigners communicating the language and culture (wrong usage) with each other.

Beside of, (wrong phrase) there are valuable merits for user cannot be eliminated. (ungrammatical sentence structure) In addition, the Internet is great transport (wrong word) to find new friends and find information. Through social network, (wrong form) such as Facebook and Twitter, everyone can find a suitable person with many points in common and they interact through their computers rather than face to face. Thanks for Internet connection, most of people (wrong expression ) use social networks, connect make (you cannot put two verbs together like this. It is not grammatical) ) friends from many different place (wrong form) and share soft skills or language with each other.

To summary, although the Internet bring to advantage in communicating but it is not possible that we abuse it indifferently to everyone. (Bad English.) If people use the Internet in a wise manner / way ~~approach~~, it will be become (you cannot put two verbs together like this. It is not grammatical) an important part of their lives. ~~in part of life~~.

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