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Misse Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Essay

In many countries, the main problem is puberty; therefore, I disagree, that they will just use the $17 billion for sport and entertainment. In addition, they should donate the $17billion to the food bank and education.( do you to think I have to revise my introduction?)
  

Top answer

Yes. That's no good. The first thing you need to do in an introductory paragraph is to introduce the topic to the reader in a general way.

— Clive

  • Yes.
  • That's no good.
  • The first thing you need to do in an introductory paragraph is to introduce the topic to the reader in a general way.
  • Assume that the reader has no idea what your essay will be about.
  • Clive
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14 Answers
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Yes. That's no good.
The first thing you need to do in an introductory paragraph is to introduce the topic to the reader in a general way. Assume that the reader has no idea what your essay will be about.

Clive
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Missethe main problem is puberty
Are you absolutely sure that you mean "puberty"? If it wasn't such an odd pair of words to mix up, I might think you meant "poverty".
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yes, it should be poverty. thank you.
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ok, so you were saying that i should say something from my topic like for instance , the question is ,are you agree or disagree that the $17 billion dollar should use in sport and entertainment instead of using the money for good cause? -honestly, i am not sure how to start, I am always struggling with my intro. How about this introduction; Are you gorgeous? in the real world, good looking people
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The second one sounds much better to me.

Here are some edits.

Are you gorgeous? In the real world, good-looking people can have a tough time. This essay will look at he advantages and disadvantages of being good looking.

What level are you trying to write at?
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When i wrote that essay i was in ESL level 7, but right now I'm taking grade 10 English.
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Have you been taught yet how to structure your essay into paragraphs?
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Missethe question is ,are you agree or disagree that the $17 billion dollar should use ... How about this introduction; Are you gorgeous? in the real world, good looking people ...
Are gorgeous people supposed to have something to do with a decision about how to spend $17 billion dollars?
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I think Misse was trying to show us two different introductions to two different essays.

????
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Clive.....yes, they are two separate essays, and yes they taught me how to construct essay, however, it is kind of confusing sometimes, i already mentioned that I'm struggling with my intro, could you please give me some advice how to construct introduction essay.thank you
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