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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Essay
Hello everyone,
I'm a Belgian high school student that will be attending college in the US. I need to take test in order to be qualified to get accepted into schools. Writing an Essay is one of them, I am trying to practice and wrote an essay. I'd like some feedback and corrections.
The Question was: Will all heroes eventually be forgotten?
my essay:
People become heroes in other people’s eyes by creating, saying or doing something extraordinary. Depending on how special what they achieved was, they will be remembered for a longer time.
In history class, students still learn about heroes that lived more than two thousand years ago. For example: everyone knows the ancient leader of Egypt, Tutankhamen. Why do we still remember him? The answer to that question is easy: sources. Written sources, drawing and objects give us information. If no one ever wrote anything down about Tutankhamen it is very unlikely that there is even one person in this world that still knows about his previous existence.
Stories that are never written down and only transferred by voice will be forgotten, because people don’t want to share them anymore. Or they will be changed drastically. This is what happens in our everyday lives with gossip. Humans like to add a new twist to stories, making them more interesting.
In modern ages, where people type everything on computers and other devices, written sources on paper are disappearing. There probably won’t be any computer that is used now, working in a thousand years. That way heroes from our time might be forgotten, maybe even before those who lived thousands of years ago.
I'm a Belgian high school student that will be attending college in the US. I need to take test in order to be qualified to get accepted into schools. Writing an Essay is one of them, I am trying to practice and wrote an essay. I'd like some feedback and corrections.
The Question was: Will all heroes eventually be forgotten?
my essay:
People become heroes in other people’s eyes by creating, saying or doing something extraordinary. Depending on how special what they achieved was, they will be remembered for a longer time.
In history class, students still learn about heroes that lived more than two thousand years ago. For example: everyone knows the ancient leader of Egypt, Tutankhamen. Why do we still remember him? The answer to that question is easy: sources. Written sources, drawing and objects give us information. If no one ever wrote anything down about Tutankhamen it is very unlikely that there is even one person in this world that still knows about his previous existence.
Stories that are never written down and only transferred by voice will be forgotten, because people don’t want to share them anymore. Or they will be changed drastically. This is what happens in our everyday lives with gossip. Humans like to add a new twist to stories, making them more interesting.
In modern ages, where people type everything on computers and other devices, written sources on paper are disappearing. There probably won’t be any computer that is used now, working in a thousand years. That way heroes from our time might be forgotten, maybe even before those who lived thousands of years ago.
Top answer
I have made some changes: People become heroes by creating, saying or doing something extraordinary. The greater their achievement, the longer they are remembered. In history class, students still learn about heroes that lived more than two thousand years ago.
- I have made some changes: People become heroes by creating, saying or doing something extraordinary.
- The greater their achievement, the longer they are remembered.
- In history class, students still learn about heroes that lived more than two thousand years ago.
- For example: everyone knows the ancient leader of Egypt, Tutankhamen.
- Why do we still remember him?
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4 Answers
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I have made some changes:
People become heroes by creating, saying or doing something extraordinary. The greater their achievement, the longer they are remembered.
In history class, students still learn about heroes that lived more than two thousand years ago. For example: everyone knows the ancient leader of Eg
People become heroes by creating, saying or doing something extraordinary. The greater their achievement, the longer they are remembered.
In history class, students still learn about heroes that lived more than two thousand years ago. For example: everyone knows the ancient leader of Eg
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I have a small comment.
I've never heard Tutankhamen referred to as a hero before. I would say that he was simply a famous person.
The main focus of heroic is displaying physical or moral courage of some kind.
I've never heard Tutankhamen referred to as a hero before. I would say that he was simply a famous person.
The main focus of heroic is displaying physical or moral courage of some kind.
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Essay writing is an essential part in student’s life. Majority of academic activities are preparing essays as assignments. Even to get an admission also students have to prepare essays. The personal essay or college essay preparation is a good way to get admission in some colleges. This method came after the second world war. Don't ignore the
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Essay writing have an important role in student's life. By reading your essay i found only spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. There are so many essay service. Choose one for your reference and practice with that. Do well and achieve more
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