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Katkiwi Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
Essay
Can anyone correct my esssay so far? Its a document based question...
Caelan Barranta
3/22/11
Writing
Valley Forge: Would You Have Quit?
The winter at Valley Forge was harsh and frigid. Many soldiers had already returned home or have already died... Valley Forge was a winter camp set up about 18 miles northwest of Philadelphia during the Revolutionary War. Soldiers suffered a long winter and many of them had already went home. Others were loyal to the US and fought through the season. Would you have been a soldier at Valley Forge, or would you have quit? I would have stayed because I would be fighting for what I believed in, supplies could be delivered to the camp, and there was a spirit of happiness. really?
I would fight for liberty and for what I believe. Document D states not to act like a summer soldier which means that you shouldn’t fight when the time is easy; you should fight when it’s tough, when it really matters. I wouldn’t want to be a summer soldier and fight just for money, I would want to fight for the US and for our freedom! Second, a quote from Thomas Paine (Document D) says- “ Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but ‘to bind us in all cases whatsoever,’ and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon Earth.” This tells me that Britain thinks they have the right to tax and control America; I don’t want to be controlled by someone else, so I would go to war with Britain and earn the right to become independent.
Next, Document B shows a picture of George Washington presenting the Congressional Committee to soldiers at Valley Forge. Many of the soldiers are barefooted, tattered, and tortured from the freezing cold. Despite this, the Congressional Committee is pondering whether to give them supplies or not. I believe that they will give supplies to the shabby soldiers. If they want independence from Britain, then they should ship some provisions. Because of this belief, I would stay at Valley Forge.
Lastly, Document C states that there is a spirit of alacrity. Dr.
Caelan Barranta
3/22/11
Writing
Valley Forge: Would You Have Quit?
The winter at Valley Forge was harsh and frigid. Many soldiers had already returned home or have already died... Valley Forge was a winter camp set up about 18 miles northwest of Philadelphia during the Revolutionary War. Soldiers suffered a long winter and many of them had already went home. Others were loyal to the US and fought through the season. Would you have been a soldier at Valley Forge, or would you have quit? I would have stayed because I would be fighting for what I believed in, supplies could be delivered to the camp, and there was a spirit of happiness. really?
I would fight for liberty and for what I believe. Document D states not to act like a summer soldier which means that you shouldn’t fight when the time is easy; you should fight when it’s tough, when it really matters. I wouldn’t want to be a summer soldier and fight just for money, I would want to fight for the US and for our freedom! Second, a quote from Thomas Paine (Document D) says- “ Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to tax) but ‘to bind us in all cases whatsoever,’ and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon Earth.” This tells me that Britain thinks they have the right to tax and control America; I don’t want to be controlled by someone else, so I would go to war with Britain and earn the right to become independent.
Next, Document B shows a picture of George Washington presenting the Congressional Committee to soldiers at Valley Forge. Many of the soldiers are barefooted, tattered, and tortured from the freezing cold. Despite this, the Congressional Committee is pondering whether to give them supplies or not. I believe that they will give supplies to the shabby soldiers. If they want independence from Britain, then they should ship some provisions. Because of this belief, I would stay at Valley Forge.
Lastly, Document C states that there is a spirit of alacrity. Dr.
Top answer
DONT MIND THE HIGHLIGHTED PARTS
- DONT MIND THE HIGHLIGHTED PARTS
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5 Answers
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it looks to me like a fail:((((
lol me have same report due tommorow im just going to turn this in
lol me have same report due tommorow im just going to turn this in
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did you happen to be in a class taught by some one named miss helton
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Well, for one thing, this is not an essay. It's only about 4 paragraphs long. I don't think you really explained everything clearly. I felt that the paragraph on Document B was confusing. You could have said something like: Congress saw that the men were barefooted, tattered, and tortured from the freezing cold and might possibly have wanted to help them. You also don't have a proper introduction
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