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Lucus Ong Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Essay

could anybody correct this essay for me? Great thanks in advance.
Topics:Do internet only bring our teenagers bad influences?

Nowaday, many teens are playing computer games in computer center almost all the time. They don't corcern about their studies and pay full-attention in games. Beside playing games, they are also addicted in blue items and another entertainments in the internet. The addiction consume all of their precious youth.
In fact, if our teenagers don't abuse internets, it can bring our teenagers masive benifits. Internet can actually enhance students studies. As there are many supplementery information relative to their homework in the internet. Forums in the internet can also help our teens solve many difficult problems. Although, our teens can turn to their teacher when they find any problems in their studies, they can find more opinions from more people in the online forums.
With internet they can know more about the world as easy as pie so that they will get mature ealier and become more clever. As it can help to open their mind. That why teens in city are more acute and open-mined.
Our teenagers can get free books and videos including new albums from internet. It can help to relieve their parents burdens. But for those who have no a good control to themselves may addict into entertainment in internets and idle away their time.
In a nutshell, user's attitude decide internet is benificial or harmful.
  

Top answer

Please help me? Maybe, you are too busy to help. you can just pick out a few sentences which are most problematic and explain to me .

  • Please help me?
  • Maybe, you are too busy to help.
  • you can just pick out a few sentences which are most problematic and explain to me .
  • Nowaday, many teens are playing computer games in computer center almost all the time.
  • I use present continuous tense in this sentence because I think we can use this tense to express habitual actions.
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4 Answers
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Please help me? Maybe, you are too busy to help.
you can just pick out a few sentences which are most problematic and explain to me .
Nowaday, many teens are playing computer games in computer center almost all the time.
I use present continuous tense in this sentence because I think we can use this tense to express habitual actions. when we are angry at this fact.
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Hi,

Here are some edits.



In an essay, avoid contractions, like 'don't'. Say 'do not'.



Please ask if you don't understand the reason for any of these changes.



Best wishes, Clive



Topics: Does the internet only have a bad influence on our teenagers?

Nowaday, many teens are playing computer games
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Topics (You have plural here, but only one topic -what are the other topics?): Do the Internet only bring our teenagers bad influences? (The Internet cannot bring influences. That does not make sense. Something can have a bad influence on... )
Please always write
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Vctory OngNowaday, many teens are playing computer games in computer center almost all the time.
I use present continuous tense in this sentence because I think we can use this tense to express habitual actions.

Yes, the present continuous tense is OK.
The present tense if also OK.
But you have to say "in the computer center"

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