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Fr3y4 Posted 20 years ago
Grammar
Essay
Hello!
Can anyone revise my essay please? I have to add it tommorow and it's really important that I don't have any big grammam mistakes. Please . thank you
Advertising can sell you anything – first and foremost it sells you your soul
Almost everywhere we look advertisements and commercials are present. Most of us have thought, at least once, »oh what an interesting ad, what is it for?« Often the sly advertisers convince us into buying their product for which we soon find out we actually do not need. Their advertisement or commercial induces us that we subconsciously start to believe exactly what they want. Thus we might think that we have gained from buying their product, we, in fact, lose- by selling our soul.
In subconscious of almost every man and woman in present-day exists an aspiration for acceptance of others. We want to be seen in the best light in the eyes of others. It gives us an assurance that we are as good or even better than the others. Companies sell the products that will supposedly give us exactly that. And the advertisers know exactly which buttons to push to make us believe that without this products we will not succeed in being satisfied with ourselves. Cosmetics, weight loss products, fitness devices… all this ware is believed to be an essential for success, just because the ads for them manipulate with people. For example, some time ago there was an advertisement in the magazine in which the manufacturer of the weight loss pills stated to the potential consumers- women- that their husbands will leave them if they will not lose surplus weight. And that can be quickly and effectively achieved, of course, only with those pills.
Manipulation with people's minds through the advertisement is so severe in modern times that it is important for us to be aware of the adverts' intentions and carefully think over if the product we intend to buy is really needed.
Can anyone revise my essay please? I have to add it tommorow and it's really important that I don't have any big grammam mistakes. Please . thank you
Advertising can sell you anything – first and foremost it sells you your soul
Almost everywhere we look advertisements and commercials are present. Most of us have thought, at least once, »oh what an interesting ad, what is it for?« Often the sly advertisers convince us into buying their product for which we soon find out we actually do not need. Their advertisement or commercial induces us that we subconsciously start to believe exactly what they want. Thus we might think that we have gained from buying their product, we, in fact, lose- by selling our soul.
In subconscious of almost every man and woman in present-day exists an aspiration for acceptance of others. We want to be seen in the best light in the eyes of others. It gives us an assurance that we are as good or even better than the others. Companies sell the products that will supposedly give us exactly that. And the advertisers know exactly which buttons to push to make us believe that without this products we will not succeed in being satisfied with ourselves. Cosmetics, weight loss products, fitness devices… all this ware is believed to be an essential for success, just because the ads for them manipulate with people. For example, some time ago there was an advertisement in the magazine in which the manufacturer of the weight loss pills stated to the potential consumers- women- that their husbands will leave them if they will not lose surplus weight. And that can be quickly and effectively achieved, of course, only with those pills.
Manipulation with people's minds through the advertisement is so severe in modern times that it is important for us to be aware of the adverts' intentions and carefully think over if the product we intend to buy is really needed.
Top answer
Hi, I'm not going to do your homework for you, but I have high-lighted a few places where you can make corrections. This is good writing, and you have good ideas which you are expressing clearly. I think that your teacher should give you a good mark, and I hope that he/she will also help you with some detailed comments on your English.
- Hi, I'm not going to do your homework for you, but I have high-lighted a few places where you can make corrections.
- This is good writing, and you have good ideas which you are expressing clearly.
- I think that your teacher should give you a good mark, and I hope that he/she will also help you with some detailed comments on your English.
- Good luck tomorrow, Clive Advertising can sell you anything – first and foremost it sells you your soul Almost everywhere we look advertisements and commercials are present.
- « Often the sly advertisers convince us into buying their product for which we soon find out we actually do not need.
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1 Answers
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Hi,
I'm not going to do your homework for you, but I have high-lighted a few places where you can make corrections. This is good writing, and you have good ideas which you are expressing clearly. I think that your teacher should give you a good mark, and I hope that he/she will also help you with some detailed comments on your English.
I'm not going to do your homework for you, but I have high-lighted a few places where you can make corrections. This is good writing, and you have good ideas which you are expressing clearly. I think that your teacher should give you a good mark, and I hope that he/she will also help you with some detailed comments on your English.
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