Erasmus motivation letter

Question

Dear Madam, Sir,I am writing to express my strong interest to apply for the Erasmus Program at XXX. I decided to apply to your university because it is one of the top university in engineer in the world and if I study there, I am sure, I will strongly enrich my studies, helping my prospective career. In addition attending lectures at XXX will allow me to study in an incredible environment for learning, with renowned professors.  I wish to try the different learning approach of the XXX Educational System. In fact, other students of my university, which had been on Erasmus there, confirmed me the high level of quality of the university and their satisfaction regarding each courses taken. At XXX I also believe I will improve my engineer skills, with the university very efficient and successfully method. I heard about XXX some years ago: I was extremely impressed by its prestige and I have dreamt for long time to attend lectures there. Now I am very glad that the possibility to study there happened.I am studying Automation and Control Engineering at XXXX, a field where as soon as I began to improve my knowledge of it, I have become more and more enchanted by it. Interesting in engineer comes during a gap year spent in England, where reading technological articles I understood I want to become an engineer. During the bachelor degree, I tried to match student work with my study, studying hard to pursue my dreams, and improve as much as I can knowledge in the e field of control system. I dream to do research in the field of control system. Lastly, with the Erasmus program, I hope also to improve German, which I consider it is an important language in automation system field because Germany is very in advance in this sector.I would be very grateful if you consider my application and give me a chance to participate in the Erasmus programme at your University, which would mark my future professional and personal development.Thank you very much for your time.Yours faithfully,

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I am writing to express my strong interest to apply (You are applying with this letter. Your interest is "participating in") for the Erasmus Program at ***.
I decided to apply to your university because it is one of the top universities in engineering (you might indicate what particular engineering) in the world and if I study there, I am sure, (no comma) I will strongly enrich my studies, helping my prospective career. In addition attending lectures at *** will allow me to study in an incredible learning environment ~~for learning,~~ with renowned professors. I wish to try the different learning approach of the *** Educational System. In fact, other students of my university, who previously attended ~~which~~ ~~had been~~ on the Erasmus programme ~~there~~, confirmed me the high level of quality of the university and their satisfaction regarding each courses taken. At *** I also believe I will improve my engineer skills, with the university having a very efficient and successful teaching ly method. I heard about *** some years ago: I was extremely impressed by its prestige and I have dreamt for long time to attend lectures there. Now I am very glad that the possibility to study there had happened. (In this paragraph you are very repetitious. You need to tell them something more special and unique about yourself. Everyone who applies says this sort of thing. You need to make your application different from the others.)

I am studying Automation and Control Engineering at XXXX, and the more I learn, the ~~a field where as soon as I began to improve my knowledge of it, I have become more and~~ more enchanted I become. ~~by it~~. My interest ~~ing~~ in engineering came ~~comes~~ during a gap year spent in England, where, after reading technological articles, I understood that I wanted to become an engineer. ~~During~~ Throughout my ~~the~~ bachelor's degree, I tried to match student work with my study, studying hard to pursue my dreams, and improve as much as I ~~can~~ could my knowledge of t~~he e field of~~ industrial control systems. I dream to do research in the field of control systems.
Lastly, with the Erasmus program, I hope also to improve my German, which I consider ~~it is~~ an important language in the field of automation systems ~~field~~ because Germany is very in advanced in this sector.
I would be very grateful if you consider my application and give me a chance to participate in the Erasmus programme at your university, which would mark my future professional and personal development.
Thank you very much for your time.

SophieS · Answer

Thank you very much for your work done on my letter. I really appreciate your assistance. Could you check again this letter that I corrected trying to follow your advices, please?
I am writing to express my strong interest to participating in the Erasmus Program at ***.
I decided to apply to your university because it is one of the top university in in information technology and electrical engineer in the world and if I study there, I am sure I will strongly enrich my studies, helping my prospective career. In fact, other students of my university who previously attended on the Erasmus programme, confirmed me the high level of quality of the university and their satisfaction regarding each course taken. At *** I also believe I will improve my engineer skills, with the university having a very efficient and successful teaching method. I heard about *** some years ago: I was extremely impressed by its prestige and I have dreamt for long time to attend lectures there. Now I am very glad that the possibility to study there happened.
Studying abroad has been always part of my plans, and I believe now I am ready to test myself in an environment different from mine. Going abroad I can increase my knowledge and broad my horizons, I can see the world from another perspective. I am an open, tolerant of different cultures, I have good communication skills and I am comfortable in an international environment. During my study, I developed skills to work to targets, on my own initiative or in a team, developing a clear and logical mind with an approach to problem solving to see things through to completion. I am very hardworking and eager to learn.
I am studying Automation and Control Engineering at *** and the more I learn, the more enchanted I become. My Interest in engineering came during a gap year spent in England, where after reading technological articles I understood that I wanted to become an engineer. Throughout my bachelor's degree, I tried to match student work with my study, studying hard to pursue my dreams, and improve as much as I could knowledge industrial control systems. I dream to do research in the field of control systems.
Lastly, with the Erasmus program, I hope also to improve my German, which I consider an important language in the field of automation systems because Germany is very advanced in this sector.
I would be very grateful if you consider my application and give me a chance to participate in the Erasmus programme at your university, which would mark my future professional and personal development.
Thank you very much for your time.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Thank you very much for your work done on my letter. I really appreciate your assistance. Could you check again this letter that I corrected trying to follow your advice, (advice is a non-count noun. Do not use "advices.") please?
You still have not differentiated yourself from other candidates. Every candidate has dreams of international study. Every candidate claims they are "hard-working," enthusiastic and tolerant. Every candidate heard about the programme through friends or web sites. Can't you say something about yourself that is unique, interesting, appealing or unusual?

I am writing to express my strong interest in participating in the Erasmus Program at ***.
I decided to apply to your university because it is one of the top university in in information technology and electrical Engineering (An engineer is a person. Engineering is the degree and science.) in the world and if I study there, I am sure I will strongly enrich my studies, helping my prospective career. In fact, other students of my university who previously attended on the Erasmus programme, have confirmed me the high level of quality of the university and their satisfaction regarding each course taken. At *** I also believe I will improve my engineering skills, with the university having a very efficient and successful teaching method. I heard about *** some years ago: I was extremely impressed by its prestige and I have dreamt for long time to attend lectures there. Now I am very glad that the possibility to study there happened.
Studying abroad has been always part of my plans, and I believe now I am ready to test myself in an environment different from mine. In going abroad I can increase my knowledge and broad my horizons, (comma splice) I can see the world from another perspective. I am an open, tolerant of different cultures, I have good communication skills and I am comfortable in an international environment. During my study, I developed skills to work to targets, on my own initiative or in a team, developing a clear and logical mind with an approach to problem-solving to see things through to completion. I am very hardworking and eager to learn.
I am studying Automation and Control Engineering at *** and the more I learn, the more enchanted I become. My Interest in engineering came during a gap year spent in England, where, after reading technological articles, I understood that I wanted to become an engineer. Throughout my bachelor's degree, I tried to match student work with my study, studying hard to pursue my dreams, and improve as much as I could my knowledge of industrial control systems. I dream to do research in the field of control systems.
Lastly, with the Erasmus program, I hope also to improve my German, which I consider an important language in the field of automation systems because Germany is very advanced in this sector.
I would be very grateful if you consider my application and give me a chance to participate in the Erasmus programme at your university, which would mark my future professional and personal development.
Thank you very much for your time.

SophieS · Answer

Thank you a lot!

Erasmus motivation letter

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