English speech about stress young people face

Question

Being a child or a teenager can feel like being crushed between walls. The pressure can be overwhelming for a lot of us and you just want to hit something. Exams put tremendous pressure on us. But the more pressure we put on ourselves the worse it makes it because stress can lead to falling sick and you may be sick when exams roll around so you can’t put one-hundred percent into the test lowering our scores.  The more a young person prepares for a stressful situation, such as an exam, the easier it is to cope. A student's stress level is often influenced by the amount of preparation and planning they have put into studying towards a particular exam. Some people can deal with the stress school puts on us but they are usually the people who experience stress outside of school. If you are a bit more relaxed at school the pressure isn’t locked in their behind the gates. Peer pressure and social stigma are very important to young people. Getting peer pressured into drinking or smoking may lead to an addiction and it could ruin the child’s school work or home life. And the sad part if the kid says “Nah I’m alright” they may get bullied for not fitting in with all the others.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Being a child (Does your argument apply to 3 year-olds? That is not what I read in the topic, which says "young people.") or a teenager can feel like being crushed between walls. (Walls don't move. How can two of them crush you?) The pressure can be overwhelming for a lot of us and you just want to hit something.

(You switch between first person - we, us; second p

(You switch between first person - we, us; second person - you; and third person - they. It is not good form to do this, especially in a single sentence. Pick one of these and be consistent.)

Exams put tremendous pressure on us. But the more pressure we (first person) put on ourselves the worse it makes it because stress can ~~lead to falling~~ make us sick and you may be sick when exams roll around so you (second person) can’t put one-hundred percent into the test ~~lowering our~~ resulting in lower scores. The more a young person (third person) prepares for a stressful situation, such as an exam, the easier it is to cope. A student's stress level is often influenced by the amount of preparation and planning they have put into studying towards a particular exam.

Some people (third person) can deal with the stress school puts on us (first person) but they (third person) are usually the people who experience stress outside of school. If you (second person)are a bit more relaxed at school the pressure isn’t locked in their behind the gates. Peer pressure and social status ~~stigma~~ are very important to young people. Getting peer pressured into drinking or smoking may lead to an addiction and it could ruin the child’s (A six-year old child?) school work or home life. And the sad part if the kid says “Nah I’m alright” they may get bullied for not fitting in with all the others.

English speech about stress young people face

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