English/ IELTS Writing

Can anyone help me check my essay? (Task 1/ IELTS Writing)

The line graph illustrates the highest medium heat level everyday in four cities over the course of a year: Auckland, Christchurch in New Zealand, and London, Edinburgh in the United Kingdom.

In general, in the first six months of the graph, the commonplace daily maximal temperatures go through a downward trend in two cities in New Zealand; while there is an upward trend in two cities in the United Kingdom. It can also be observed that the recorded medium quantity of heat per day in New Zealand experiences an increase over the lapse of time from the mid-July to December. During this time, decrease propensity has been witnessed in London and Edinburg

In the first month of the year, the medium temperatures of Auckland hit a peak at 25 degrees. The temperatures level off in January, February, March, and then decline to 15 degrees in the middle of July. In Christchurch, the average measured of heat has halved from 22 degrees to 11 degrees. In the United Kingdom, London’s temperature starts a year at 6 degrees. The dramatical arise of the heat level has been seen in these two cities in a tendency. In July, the average daily maximum temperature in London is 22 degrees, while Edinburgh reaches 17 degrees.

Between the middle of July and the end of the year, the commonplace daily maximal temperatures in two New Zealand cities have a tendency to go up considerably, and then level out at around 22 degrees. During this six-month period in the United Kingdom, the heat level per day measured fluctuates around 10 degrees. In December, these two cities hit a trough temperature to 7 degrees.