English Humour

Question

Hi one and allExamples of English humour................I'll add to them every so often.................................................................................................................................................................A bus carrying ugly people crashes into an on coming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced, he decides to grant them one wish each - before they enter Paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous - but when God is halfwaydown the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says, "Make 'em all ugly again."Lionel

YoHf · Accepted Answer

Eheh... I know an Italian one that is almost the same... <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' alt='Emotion: big smile'/>

Anonymous · Answer

Nice one. But not very British kind of humour I guess.

Dj Bueno · Answer

And I know a Turkish version as well...

YoHf · Answer

Multi-language joke... <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' alt='Emotion: big smile'/>

Dj Bueno · Answer

Lionel In Paris · Answer

Oh well so much for that theory

Lionel

Lionel In Paris · Answer

Another.......................

Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of any itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Lionel

YoHf · Answer

That's right!!! Warm Water Theorem<--- This always happens to me... Bohoooooooooo...

English Humour

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