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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
English- formal writing
formal writing
please correct my mistakes.
our teacher gave us this topic as an example for our test!
" schools should change their starting time everyday to 10:35am instead at 8:35am
intro- Do you not think that schools should start late? do you not think that we should give our brains some rest before school rather than going with a tired brain? Students who live miles from school have to come by car but unfortunately they get jammed in the traffic and the outcome is BEING LATE! now what about teachers? why not they get a break? after all they are the ones who teach us! that is why i think its time to lock horns!
first of all, we should get more sleep so that our brains are relaxed because the reason we go to school is to study and if our brian's not active then what is the use? it effects are grades and body functions too! For instance 78% of students get a lot of homwork so they have to stay up all night and finish it, then wake up early in the morning and to go to school! what do you think? is that healthy?
second of all we should get enough time to revise tests and do extra cirricular acitives before school and stay active. We will have good digestion and we will not have stomach aches. such as my friend, she ate a good healthy breakfast but drove to school and did not get time for digestion, later the day her stomach started rumbling and next day she got dairrhea. Is that enough proof for you all?
last but not least i would say that if we go to school late we will not have to rush. we will not forget anything and will be punctual! we will have time to prepare better breakfast, healthy lunches and set up our books. we will walk rather than drive. we will have perfect uniform so that our teachers do not complain. We could even help mum in the kitchen while were are done! so why not everybody glad than gloomy?
now tell me, who would want to go late all the time? who would want diarrhea? do you would want to rush to school and forget some important things? so now all i have to say is school starting at 10:35 would make everyone better and everything! so how about we show school that the battle lines are drawn?
please correct my mistakes.
our teacher gave us this topic as an example for our test!
" schools should change their starting time everyday to 10:35am instead at 8:35am
intro- Do you not think that schools should start late? do you not think that we should give our brains some rest before school rather than going with a tired brain? Students who live miles from school have to come by car but unfortunately they get jammed in the traffic and the outcome is BEING LATE! now what about teachers? why not they get a break? after all they are the ones who teach us! that is why i think its time to lock horns!
first of all, we should get more sleep so that our brains are relaxed because the reason we go to school is to study and if our brian's not active then what is the use? it effects are grades and body functions too! For instance 78% of students get a lot of homwork so they have to stay up all night and finish it, then wake up early in the morning and to go to school! what do you think? is that healthy?
second of all we should get enough time to revise tests and do extra cirricular acitives before school and stay active. We will have good digestion and we will not have stomach aches. such as my friend, she ate a good healthy breakfast but drove to school and did not get time for digestion, later the day her stomach started rumbling and next day she got dairrhea. Is that enough proof for you all?
last but not least i would say that if we go to school late we will not have to rush. we will not forget anything and will be punctual! we will have time to prepare better breakfast, healthy lunches and set up our books. we will walk rather than drive. we will have perfect uniform so that our teachers do not complain. We could even help mum in the kitchen while were are done! so why not everybody glad than gloomy?
now tell me, who would want to go late all the time? who would want diarrhea? do you would want to rush to school and forget some important things? so now all i have to say is school starting at 10:35 would make everyone better and everything! so how about we show school that the battle lines are drawn?
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