English for a dissertation

Question

I shall soon have to submit a dissertation at university for my BA degree, but my lecturers have told me that some of my ideas in previous essays have been too simplistically expressed and that I need to use a higher register.

I was therefore wondering if there's a website or a book available which shows alternatives to common phrases which could be used in a dissertation at university level.
Many thanks.
Thomas

Usenet · Accepted Answer

[nq:1]I shall soon have to submit a dissertation at university for my BA degree, but my lecturers have told me ... available which shows alternatives to common phrases which could be used in a dissertation at university level. Many thanks. Thomas[/nq]
Your computer's word processor should have a thesaurus.

Also Roget's Thesaurus is on the web and searchable.

That applies if your problem is just being too simple in ordinary English.
Are your instructors hinting that you're not using enough of the jargon in the subject areas?
eg Saying someone is 'just plain crazy' in a Psychology essay might be entirely correct but the instructor might want something more refined, such as 'suffering from a serious mood disorder.'

Usenet · Answer

Thomas wrote on 17 Dec 2004:
[nq:1]I shall soon have to submit a dissertation at university for my BA degree, but my lecturers have told me ... or a book available which shows alternatives to common phrases which could be used in a dissertation at university level.[/nq]
Can you give us a few examples? That would make your lecturers' and your problems easier to understand.

Franke: EFL teacher & medical editor
For email, replace numbers with English alphabet.

Usenet · Answer

That's the problem, I can't give any examples because my lecturer only wrote that my ideas were too simplistically expressed, etc. She didn't refer to anything specific.
I need a book or a site which will teach me how to write in an academic fashion. Incidentally, English is my first language, so perhaps this was the wrong group to enquire in. If so, any ideas which group could help?

Thanks.
Thomas

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]That's the problem, I can't give any examples because my lecturer only wrote that my ideas were too simplistically expressed, etc. She didn't refer to anything specific.[/nq]
Are you sure they only referred to style?
Mightn't it be, instead, lack of explanation, detail, examples or whatever?

enrico /dot/ c /at\ people \dot\ it

Usenet · Answer

Thomas wrote on 18 Dec 2004:
[nq:1]That's the problem, I can't give any examples because my lecturer only wrote that my ideas were too simplistically expressed, etc. She didn't refer to anything specific.[/nq]
It sounds as if her criticism was too simplistically expressed. Without any concrete examples of what she means, how are you to know whether she will be happy with bloated prose instead of clear, clean, simple prose, or whether, as Enrico C suggests, the problem is "lack of explanation, detail, examples or whatever"? Your lecturer sounds as if she doesn't know how to evaluate anyone else's writing. A good writer will tell you exactly what kinds of things to fix and give several concrete examples. People who don't know what they are talking about tend to be vague and ambiguous because they are unable to be concrete.
[nq:1]I need a book or a site which will teach me how to write in an academic fashion.[/nq]
There is a difference between formal written English and what those of us who detest obfuscation call "academic prose". You really don't need a book to write in "academic fashion". You need a good scholarly writer of formal English that your lecturer and you both appreciate
[nq:1]Incidentally, English is my first language, so perhaps this was the wrong group to enquire in. If so, any ideas which group could help?[/nq]
Try alt.usage.english and alt.english.usage. They are both filled with scholars and excellent writers of formal prose, of both the American and the British variety. Most of the posters there will ask the same questions Enrico C and I have asked, though. They might even suggest that you give us, if you are willing, a representative page or two of your writing so that we can have a concrete idea of what your lecturer might be trying to say and why she's trying to say it.

Franke: EFL teacher & medical editor
For email, replace numbers with English alphabet.

Usenet · Answer

brown sugar

1 teaspoon sage
2 onions
6 cloves garlicbunch green onions, chopped
Cut the children?s butts and the beef roast into pieces that will fit in the grinder.
Run the meat through using a 3/16 grinding plate.
Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well.
Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again. Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.
Stillborn Stew
By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh, but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery, or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).
1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed¼ cup vegetable oil

2 large onionsbell pepper
celery
garlic
½ cup red wine

3 Irish potatoes
2 large carrots

This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy, thus it does not have to be thickened.
Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside. Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic.
De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well. Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and seasoning as nece

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1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headedKentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)

1 large can pineapple slicesWhole cloves
Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up. Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like he?s crawling.
Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves. Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.
Cajun Babies
Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive! You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.
6 live babies
1 lb. smoked sausage
4 lemonswhole garlic

2 lb. new potatoes
4 ears corn
1 box saltcrab boil
Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil.
Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic.
Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes.
Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes. Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover. Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.
Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs
Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe, and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume! An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood yet succulent source of protein.
2 human baby rib racks
3 cups barbecue sauce or honey glaze (see index)Salt
black pepper
white pepper
paprika
Remove the silverskin by loosening from the edges, then stripping off.
Season generously, rubbing the mi

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then place the stuffing into a colander and cool;

2 hoursWrap the rolls:
Place 3 tablespoons of stuffing in the wrap, roll tightly - corner nearest you first, fold 2 side corners in,
wrap till remaining corner is left.
Brush with egg, seal, and allow to sit on the seal for a few minutes.
Fry the rolls:
325° if using egg roll wraps, 350° for spring roll wraps. Deep fry in peanut oil till crispy golden brown, drain on paper towels.
Lemon Neonate
Turkey serves just as well, and in fact even looks a bit like a well-dressed baby. By the time you turn the child?s breast into cutlets, it will be indistinguishable. The taste of young human, although similar to turkey (and chicken) often can be wildly different depending upon what he or she has consumed during its
10 to 14 months of life...
4 well chosen cutlets (from the ******* of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garl

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thermometer deep into one of the
baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°, about another hour.
Pro-Choice Po-Boy
Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy. The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics thrive and hot French bread is always available.
2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flouroil enough for deep frying

1 loaf French breadLettuce
tomatoes
mayonnaise, etc.
Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture.
Dredge thoroughly in flour.
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown.
Remove and place on paper towels.
Holiday Youngster
One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented, it violates no religious taboos against swine.
1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headedKentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index)

1 large can pineapple slicesWhole cloves
Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up. Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like he?s crawling.
Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves. Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.
Cajun Babies
Just like crabs o

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