English expressions for "never"

yvan typed thus:
[nq:1]Hi all, I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
The only one which springs to mind is:
Over my dead body.
Do you think the two you quoted are not nice?

David
==

[nq:1]Hi all, I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
When I get my million dollars from Mr. Sese Seko in Nigeria?

[nq:1]Hi all, I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over", many thanks,[/nq]
Not/never in a million years.
Not/never in a month of Sundays.

Ray.

[nq:1]Hi all, I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
Real Soon Now.
(from Jerry Pournelle)

john

[nq:1]I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
No way, José.

John Varela
(Trade "OLD" lamps for "NEW" for email.)
I apologize for munging the address but the spam was too much.

[nq:1]Hi all, I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
"When I get around to it". I recall ads from the era when 1-hour photo places were first pushing out slower competitiors. The commercial featured a young and attractive woman, pining for her photos. "Someday my prints will come".
B

[nq:1]Hi all, I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
I don't know what Nikita Khrushchev at the UN said in Russian, but American newspapers reported it in translation as "There would be American ships in the Bosporus when shrimps learned to whistle."

Leo Kottke used it, citing N

yvan filted:
[nq:1]I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
About thirty years ago people I went to school with were fond of saying something would happen "the second Tuesday of next week"..r

I understand this now. If what you write is muddled, it is the result of being of complex construction. If what you write is unidiomatic, it is intended as metaphorical.
[nq:2]Hi all, I was wondering if anyone would now any ... "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over", many thanks,[/nq]
[nq:1]Not/never in a million years. Not/never in a month of Sundays.[/nq]
Your mother and I will

[nq:1]yvan filted:[/nq]
[nq:2]I was wondering if anyone would now any nicer english expressions describing "never", instead of "when pigs fly" or "when **** freezes over",[/nq]
[nq:1]About thirty years ago people I went to school with were fond of saying something would happen "the second Tuesday of next week"..r[/nq]
Johnny Mathis used the Twelfth of Never.