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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
English
I need help to fix the paragraph.
In other countries, computers have also affected their life by unemployment and education. For example, in India, where many people would be unemployed, they can now have a job. Those workers work at call centers that use only computers; they have a job because of computers. Also, in Africa, where tens of millions of students would go without a proper education, they can now have one. They can have an education because of the OLPC2. OLPC is one laptop per child program offers laptops to African students. This laptop allows them to have access to the information we all have access to on the Internet, and as such, obtain an education. The world has changed dramatically since computers came out. There are many reasons to change, but the main reason is because of the computer revolution. It affects everyone around the world, and it is a substantial effect.
In other countries, computers have also affected their life by unemployment and education. For example, in India, where many people would be unemployed, they can now have a job. Those workers work at call centers that use only computers; they have a job because of computers. Also, in Africa, where tens of millions of students would go without a proper education, they can now have one. They can have an education because of the OLPC2. OLPC is one laptop per child program offers laptops to African students. This laptop allows them to have access to the information we all have access to on the Internet, and as such, obtain an education. The world has changed dramatically since computers came out. There are many reasons to change, but the main reason is because of the computer revolution. It affects everyone around the world, and it is a substantial effect.
Top answer
I'm not sure about my corrections. I just think i would sound more appealing by using these: Anonymous In other countries, computers have also affected their lives by improving [unemployment and] education and employment . For example, in India, where many people are unemployed, they can now have a job.
- I'm not sure about my corrections.
- I just think i would sound more appealing by using these: Anonymous In other countries, computers have also affected their lives by improving [unemployment and] education and employment .
- For example, in India, where many people are unemployed, they can now have a job.
- Those workers work at call centers that computers; they have a job because of computers.
- Also, in Africa, where tens of millions of students would go without a proper education, they can now have one.
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1 Answers
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I'm not sure about my corrections. I just think i would sound more appealing by using these:
AnonymousIn other countries, computers have also affected their lives by improving [unemployment and] education and employment. For example, in India, where many people are unemployed, they can now have a job. Those w
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