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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing
Email requesting for a change of booking
Please give me some advice how to improve the following email.
Dear Susan,
In response to your email dated 14 Jun 2016, I write to inform you that your request for reserving all four conference rooms from 0900 - 1800 on 29 Nov 2016 and 30 Nov 2016 is unable to be entertained as one of the conference rooms has been reserved by the Finance Department for their annual meeting from 0900 to 1100 on 29 Nov 2016 while another one by the Marketing Department for their training seminar on 0900 to 1000 on 30 Nov 2016.
To accommodate your requirement for the conference rooms, I suggest you to consider rescheduling the booking of rooms to be from 1100 - 1800 on 29 Nov 2016 and 30 Nov 2016. If you are interested in my proposed arrangement, please let me know before 18 Nov 2016.
Best Regards,
Tommy
Thank you.
Dear Susan,
In response to your email dated 14 Jun 2016, I write to inform you that your request for reserving all four conference rooms from 0900 - 1800 on 29 Nov 2016 and 30 Nov 2016 is unable to be entertained as one of the conference rooms has been reserved by the Finance Department for their annual meeting from 0900 to 1100 on 29 Nov 2016 while another one by the Marketing Department for their training seminar on 0900 to 1000 on 30 Nov 2016.
To accommodate your requirement for the conference rooms, I suggest you to consider rescheduling the booking of rooms to be from 1100 - 1800 on 29 Nov 2016 and 30 Nov 2016. If you are interested in my proposed arrangement, please let me know before 18 Nov 2016.
Best Regards,
Tommy
Thank you.
Top answer
Anonymous Please give me some advice how to improve the following email. Be simple and direct . After all, you are using the recipient's first name, so you must be familiar acquaintances.
- Anonymous Please give me some advice how to improve the following email.
- Be simple and direct .
- After all, you are using the recipient's first name, so you must be familiar acquaintances.
- You are far too much in love with extra words.
- Please repair the grammar in the following, as I have simply struck out all the unnecessary verbiage and underlined other problems: Dear Susan, In response to your email dated 14 Jun 2016, I write to inform you that your request for reserving all four conference rooms from 0900 - 1800 on 29 Nov 2016 and 30 Nov 2016 is unable to be entertained as one of the conference rooms has been reserved by the Finance Department for their annual meeting from 0900 to 1100 on 29 Nov 2016 while another one by the Marketing Department for their training seminar on 0900 to 1000 on 30 Nov 2016 .
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1 Answers
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AnonymousPlease give me some advice how to improve the following email.Be simple and direct. After all, you are using the recipient's first name, so you must be familiar acquaintances. You are far too much in love with extra words. Please repair the grammar in the following, as I have simply struck out all the unnecessary verbiage and underlined ot
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