[email] could you please correct my message?

Dear Users,

Could you please correct my email, especially in terms of punctuation?

Dear Dr XYZ,

Hope this e-mail finds you well. I'm experiencing some problems with my email box, so I'm not sure if this message will be displayed properly.

First of all, thank you for devoting your time and attention to the matter I brought up last week. I've been thinking about a solution that I believe might be beneficial both for the school and myself.

Perhaps the most reasonable way to combine my desire to study Chinese with my work at BCC is to craft a contract that would make me a semi-full time teacher. The huge advantage of this is that the school retains a quality teacher, and I get my Chinese language course in the mornings. Basically, I'd still have a normal contract, just with a few alterations introduced. I'd still supervise detention and self-study periods. I'd still teach classes after lunch time on a daily basis and I'd still participate in ECs and departmental meetings. For that, I'd ask for the medical insurance (co-paid, as it is now)
and a regular salary (that would have to be negotiated) After a semester or two like that, I could come back as a regular full-time teacher.

Please let me know what you think about it.

With kind regards,

ABC