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Raine Hooke Posted 11 years ago
Email
Letter Writing
Hello. I am writing an email to my senior from my prospective university, and I will be grateful if someone can help me out with my grammar mistakes that I may have made in this email. Your kindness and assistance will be much appreciated! Thanks alot!! 
D
Hi xxx,
Thank you for your email. I am so sorry for my late reply as I just found your email from the spam mail.
For me, I'm a Chinese, from xxx. I've done my first year of Pharmacy at xxx University in xxx, and now will be entering my second year in xxx. I'm lucky enough to got my accommodation at xxx, and will be travelling to xxx on 17th (arrive at 18th). However, I guess I will stay with my sister at xxx for that week before I move to xxx, as my accommodation will only be available after 28th.
You did mentioned in your email that due to some reason you're not able to arrive at xxx earlier, I hope everything is going well with you. I'm so looking forward to meeting you in xxx, but I'm still not sure about my time schedule at that time. So please feel free to arrange a time that is most convenient to you for us to meet up, and I will try my best to cope with you.
I've just added your facebook account, so you can also contact me by using facebook if it is more convenient to you. Once again, thank you for getting to me, and I hope to see you soon.
DHi xxx,
Thank you for your email. I am so sorry for my late reply as I just found your email from the spam mail.
For me, I'm a Chinese, from xxx. I've done my first year of Pharmacy at xxx University in xxx, and now will be entering my second year in xxx. I'm lucky enough to got my accommodation at xxx, and will be travelling to xxx on 17th (arrive at 18th). However, I guess I will stay with my sister at xxx for that week before I move to xxx, as my accommodation will only be available after 28th.
You did mentioned in your email that due to some reason you're not able to arrive at xxx earlier, I hope everything is going well with you. I'm so looking forward to meeting you in xxx, but I'm still not sure about my time schedule at that time. So please feel free to arrange a time that is most convenient to you for us to meet up, and I will try my best to cope with you.
I've just added your facebook account, so you can also contact me by using facebook if it is more convenient to you. Once again, thank you for getting to me, and I hope to see you soon.
Top answer
Suggestions: Add a comma after ‘reply’ in first sentence. ” Instead of ‘(arrive at 18 th ), write “(arriving on 18 th ). ” Paragraph 4: “I have just added you to my Facebook account, so…”
- Suggestions: Add a comma after ‘reply’ in first sentence.
- ” Instead of ‘(arrive at 18 th ), write “(arriving on 18 th ).
- ” Paragraph 4: “I have just added you to my Facebook account, so…”
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4 Answers
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Suggestions:
Add a comma after ‘reply’ in first sentence.
Delete ‘For me, I’m a Chinese,’ Replace with “I am Chinese from..”
Replace ‘I’m lucky enough to got my’ with “I was fortunate to get accommodation..”
Instead of ‘(arrive at 18th), write “(arriving on 18th).
Paragraph 3: “You mentioned in your email that, for some reason, you are unable to arr
Add a comma after ‘reply’ in first sentence.
Delete ‘For me, I’m a Chinese,’ Replace with “I am Chinese from..”
Replace ‘I’m lucky enough to got my’ with “I was fortunate to get accommodation..”
Instead of ‘(arrive at 18th), write “(arriving on 18th).
Paragraph 3: “You mentioned in your email that, for some reason, you are unable to arr
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my senior is not a natural English expression
What do you mean? eg a professor? eg an older room-mate?
What do you mean? eg a professor? eg an older room-mate?
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He's my course-mate, a year before me.
Thank you for pointing out my flaw, even is not in the content of the email
Thank you for pointing out my flaw, even is not in the content of the email
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Thank you so much for your suggestions! It will really help me to improve.
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