Elts Writing Task 2 - PLEASE CHECK THE GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY, CORRECT IT AND ALSO GIVE ME AN ESTIMATE OF THE BAND SCORE FOR THIS ESSAY.

Some people believe that unpaid community work (for example: working for a charity, teaching sports to children) should become a compulsory part of the high school curriculum. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, people often argued that should the government put unpaid community work into a compulsory subject in high school. From my point of view, I partly agree with this opinion and in this assignment, I will show that putting unpaid community work into the curriculum has both benefits and drawbacks.

First of all, it can be denied that unpaid community work is a way for student to have a broader view of life. High school students are almost between the age of 15 years old and 18 years old – the age of people who being grown up into adults. When they do unpaid community work, they can develop communication, attain maturity. They also received love, the “thank you” message, develop their own relation. Doing charity is also a chance to students know more about the life of unlucky people, therefore, students will gradually treasure their full life. A survey recently had questioned 100 people who did unpaid community work in their high school and conducted their answers that unpaid community work really built their character, personality to be better and greater.

Besides, there are some cons of putting unpaid community work into a compulsory part of the high school. The young people hereabouts have to learn more and more subjects than we did. The amount of lecture, book and work that they are enforced to study cost them so much time a day. A research of some countries in the world has shown that students often study until 11 pm, even until 1 am or 2 am, and wake up to ready to school at 7 am. This leads to a fact that their health are not covering, affect to their learning ability. Once unpaid community work become a compulsory part of the high school, this alarming situation will continue to recur and cannot be terminated.

In a nutshell, as every coin has two sides, the unpaid community work has both its pros and cons. To me, although the unpaid community work brings lot of benefits, at the moment, the government should not put this into a compulsory part in the high school until they can solve problem of numerous loads of school-work, which damage severely students ‘s condition.