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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Grammar
Elsynai is the most exalted knight
Elsynai is the most exalted knight my kingdom has known. Had she been of a more, how shall I say, attractive disposition, she, unlike all those who had came before her, would have been that which every female knight yearns to be, namely the queen consort of Maldur. She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elynai in Excelsis', a name I believe is most befitting to a woman of untrammelled beauty, and replete with such fragrant beauty, which does ensnare the hearts of all but my father, for he is without an appreciation for beauty, as he is to be left to rot at the hands of his once beautiful wife in a place whose name I have come to know as being the catacombs of a demon whose name I speak not, for if a mortal such as I should speak his name, a stone body shall consume theirs, so as to be petrified for all of eternity.
Does this all make sense? Does it all fit an archaic style?
Does this all make sense? Does it all fit an archaic style?
Top answer
Elsynai is the most exalted knight my kingdom has known. Had she been of a more, how shall I say, attractive disposition, she, unlike all those who had come before her, would have been that which every female knight yearns to be, namely the queen consort of Maldur. She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elsynai in Excelsis', a name I believe is most befitting for a woman of untrammelled beauty, and replete with such fragrant beauty, which does ensnare the hearts of all but my father, for he is without an appreciation of beauty.
- Elsynai is the most exalted knight my kingdom has known.
- Had she been of a more, how shall I say, attractive disposition, she, unlike all those who had come before her, would have been that which every female knight yearns to be, namely the queen consort of Maldur.
- She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elsynai in Excelsis', a name I believe is most befitting for a woman of untrammelled beauty, and replete with such fragrant beauty, which does ensnare the hearts of all but my father, for he is without an appreciation of beauty.
- He is to be left to rot at the hands of his once beautiful wife in a place whose name I have come to know as being the catacombs of a demon whose name I speak not, for if a mortal such as I should speak his name, a stone body shall consume theirs, so as to be petrified for all of eternity.
- Correct some errors.
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3 Answers
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Elsynai is the most exalted knight my kingdom has known. Had she been of a more, how shall I say, attractive disposition, she, unlike all those who had come before her, would have been that which every female knight yearns to be, namely the queen consort of Maldur. She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elsynai in Excelsis', a name I believe is most befitting for a woman of untrammelled beauty
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This is the passage converted into the passive voice.
The exalted knight Elysnai is known by my kingdom. Had an attractive disposition been bestowed unto her, unlike all those who had come before her, the queen consort of Maldur, which every female knight yearns to me, is what would have become of her. She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elsynai in Excelsis', a name that has come
The exalted knight Elysnai is known by my kingdom. Had an attractive disposition been bestowed unto her, unlike all those who had come before her, the queen consort of Maldur, which every female knight yearns to me, is what would have become of her. She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elsynai in Excelsis', a name that has come
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An improvement
The exalted knight Elysnai is known by my kingdom. Had an attractive disposition been bestowed unto her, unlike all those who had come before her, the queen consort of Maldur, which every female knight yearns to me, is what would have become of her. She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elsynai in Excelsis', a name that has come to be known by me as being that which
The exalted knight Elysnai is known by my kingdom. Had an attractive disposition been bestowed unto her, unlike all those who had come before her, the queen consort of Maldur, which every female knight yearns to me, is what would have become of her. She would have been deemed by me as being 'Elsynai in Excelsis', a name that has come to be known by me as being that which
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