I have revised the paragraph below originally written by a student. How can I make it sound natural?
Positive Parts of Electronic Devices:
Electronic devices, including computer, communication, and consumer electronics, are now a new rapidly developing technology in the world. There are some positive parts of electronic devices. First, they offer great convenience for people. They help people communicate with each other in an instant and efficient way. Take the cellphone as an example, almost everyone has one in their hands. According to a research made by National Bureau of Statics of Taiwan, the popularization rate of cellphone is about 42 % in Taiwan in 2017. Besides, it is easy to carry. We can use them to connect people easily and find information effectively and faster. In addition, we can play games and surf the net to find information. Furthermore, some cellphones even have artificial intelligence central processor in them. It can help you to detect different kinds of stroke, perform calculations, and get things done with Voice Actions. Cellphones now play an important role in people’s lives. I believe manufactures will develop more useful functions on cellphones.
Electronic devices, including computer s, communication equipment , and consumer electronics, are now a new rapidly developing technology rapidly being adopted throughout the world. There are some positive aspects to this development. parts of electronic devices .
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Electronic devices, including computers, communication equipment, and consumer electronics, are now a new rapidly developing technology rapidly being adopted throughout the world. There are some positive aspects to this development. pa