EDUCATION

This is my essay. Can you help me evaluate it and give me a score. Thank you so much!

Topic: Some people believe that unpaid community work (for example, working for a charity, teaching sports to children) should become a compulsory part of the high school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this day and age, the question of whether high school students are forced to engage in free community service programs has receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this policy appears plausible, I believe that it should not be compulsory among these pupils.

On the one hand, it should be admitted that unpaid community work holds several benefits. First, since these work could create an ideal environment for high school children to develop their social skills such as teamwork skills or problem-solving ability, activities like working for charity or teaching sports to children should be encouraged. Working in a group to allocate each individual’s mission, for instance, requires students making use of their logical and critical thinking, which could be inexorably linked with preparing children for necessary skills now and down the road. Second, by receiving diplomas when evolving in these free work, high school student could have a plus point in applying for studying abroad scholarships. In fact, there are numerous prestigious colleges and institutes have a tendency to give a priority to candidates who earned diplomas of community services when they were high school students, enabling them to become more competitive.

However, unpaid community work should not be compelled. Firstly, because these activities could deprive time for studying of students, this could have negative impacts on their learning. As a results, they could not have enough high academic results to pursue tertiary education, which lead to the lack of qualified employees. Moreover, it could be unfair with disadvantaged students who have to work in order to reduce financial burden on their parents. This means that high school pupils from adverse background would do two jobs contemporaneously, resulting into be detrimental to their health because of overwork.

In conclusion, high school students should take part in free community programs due to some compelling reasons. However, I am convinced that it should be voluntary work.