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Yoong Liat Posted 19 years ago
Grammar

editing of passage

1b00This passage is for Year 2 students. Please edit it for me. Any suggestions to improve it are welcome. Thanks in advance.02b02br
02br
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00Once there was a greedy but clever mouse. Whenever he was hungry, he would go to people’s houses to look for food. 02br
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00One day, he went to a house. He saw a plate containing milk in front of a cat who appeared to be sleeping soundly. 02br
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00The mouse thought, “I shall drink the milk before the cat wakes up.” 02br
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00As he was drinking the milk, the cat suddenly caught him with her right paw. The mouse was frightened but calm. He told the cat, “You must clean your paws first.” 02br
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00The puzzled cat asked, “Why?” 02br
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00The mouse replied, “I will taste more delicious if your paws are clean.” 02br
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00The moment the cat let go of the mouse, he ran away. He told himself, “I am lucky to escape from the cat because she is silly.”02br
00 00The cat thought, “I will never trust any mouse from now on.”0-
  

Top answer

1font 00Hi YL, 02font 02br 02br 00The mouse was frightened but calm. 01i 00At first the mouse was frgihtened but later it got calmer02i 00 will be better I think. 02font 02br 02br 00The moment the cat let go of the mouse, he ran away.

  • 1font 00Hi YL, 02font 02br 02br 00The mouse was frightened but calm.
  • 01i 00At first the mouse was frgihtened but later it got calmer02i 00 will be better I think.
  • 02font 02br 02br 00The moment the cat let go of the mouse, he ran away.
  • 01i 00 01font 00The moment the cat let the mosue go...
  • 02font 010id2
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5 Answers
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1font00Hi YL, 02font02br
02br
00The mouse was frightened but calm. 01font00 How can a creature be frightened and calm at the same time?01i00At first the mouse was frgihtened but later it got calmer02i00 will be better I think. 02font02br
02br
00The
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0I think it can still be improved and made more interesting. Sorry I don't have much time to work on this. I hope it will help you to get more creative now.02br
02br
00[Once there was a greedy and clever mouse. Whenever he was hungry, he would quietly go into the houses in his neighborhood and look for food.02br
02br
00 One day, he went into a h
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0 Hi SriSri02br
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00Thanks. You've certainly made the story more interesting.0-
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0 Yes childeren will love it!:D 0-

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