Editing needed

Question

360 billion owed nationwide because of constructional engineerings
Central government puts an eye on it

"Accrording to the statistic based on the investigation into the real situation, 360 billion yuan (44 billion USD) accumulative total has been owed, and 175.6 billion yuan (about 22 billion USD) out of the total was owed in 124,000 projects finished since the end of last year. " said undersecretary Huangwei, of China's Construction Ministry, in the news conference held in the State Council office, when he introduced the development and measures dealing with the issue of migrant workers' wages and the money owed in constructional engineerings in China at large.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

Hi Jobb.

Central government eyes 360 billion owed nationwide for construction engineering

"According to statistics, an accumulated total of 360 billion yuan (44 billion USD) is currently owed, of which 175.6 billion yuan (about 22 billion USD) is owed for 124,000 projects finished since the end of last year," said Undersecretary Huangwei, of China's Construction Ministry, in a State Council news conference, where he introduced the development of measures dealing with the issue of migrant workers' wages and debt for construction engineering in China at large.

Hope that helps.

Jobb · Answer

Very inspired!

Thanks!

Luve · Answer

To make the most efficient use of my time, it is important that I identify and work to eliminate my five worst time robbers. They are poor planning, equipment failure, poor communication, and interruptions.

Firstly, a poor plan will robe my useful time. You should make a good and detail plan before operate it which will help you saving a lot of time. That because of a poor plan may block you with many complex troubles when you go further.

Secondly, an equipment failure is another time robber to be notice. For example, if the technology system in one technology-based firm fails down, then it will cost the company millions of dollars because of this problem.

Thirdly, many people spend times useless because of their poor communication. For instance, one business firm will lost both a good customer and revenue whenever it can not reach an agreement in making a big new contract with the important customer. However, the company will become more successful if their employees are well communication person.

Finally, interruption is my important points in time robbers. They attempt to destruct your times and may cause you a lot of troubles. A successful person in time management will meet a good life and always walk on the right way to achieve their dream than others.

Luve · Answer

I need help over my grammar mistakes, and I would be appriciate if someone help me.
I do hope I will learn and improve my English here. As a new member in this forum, I want to thank the forum's admin for such a wonderful resource.

MountainHiker · Answer

Hi Luve,

If someone doesn't help you before tomorrow, I will look over your work and provide comments.

MountainHiker

Mister Micawber · Answer

Hi luve, welcome to EnglishForward.

There is probably work for more than one reviewer here, so I'll go through it once lightly:

'To make the most efficient use of my time, it is important that I identify and work to eliminate my five worst time robbers. They are poor planning, equipment failure, poor communication, and interruptions.'

FINE-- except that I can only count four robbers!

'First, a poor plan will rob me of useful time. I should make a complete and detailed plan before implementing it, which will help save considerable time. That is because a poor plan may block you with many complex problems later.'

'Firstly, secondly' etc. is listed as more formal, esp in BrE, but I find it an awkward and unnecessary overformality-- 'first, second' etc. are clear and direct in any writing. Keep the person consistent-- if you start with 'I', then continue using 'I'; don't switch to 'you' then 'person' (however, I notice farther down in your essay that you do better with 'a person', so perhaps you should change all to 3rd person). 'Good' is a vague word; choose something more specific. Avoid 'a lot of' in formal writing.

'Second, equipment failure is another time robber to be noticed. For example, if the technology system in a technology-based firm fails, then it will cost the company millions of dollars.

'Failure' is a concept here, so no article. 'Down' does not collocate well with 'fail'. 'Because of this problem' is redundant, since you already mentioned failure.

Third, many people spend time inefficiently because of poor communication. For instance, a business firm loses both a good customer and revenue whenever it can not reach an agreement in renewing its contract. However, the company will become more successful if its employees are skilled at communication.

'With the important customer' is redundant because you have already mentioned the 'good customer'. The company here is a single entity, hence 'its' not 'their'.

'Finally, interruptions are important time robbers. They can consume your time and may cause you a lot of trouble. A person good at time management will be successful in his career.

'Will meet a good life and always walk on the right way to achieve their dream than others' is very vague and nonbusinesslike in English. My replacement phrase is only tentative. I hope that MountainHiker and others will be along to check and revise my initial suggestions.

MountainHiker · Answer

Mister Micawber,

Both luve and I thank you!

There is a lot of work here in this section, so any and all help is appreciated!

MountainHiker

Guest · Answer

Please edit the following:
1. They came up with that generalization in a hastily manner.
2. The cappuccino tasted so bitter that no one asked for a refill.
3. It is very hard for him to turn off the television set and spend time leisurely reading a book.
4. Give the award to whomever you think is best.
5. No one tells better jokes than he.
6. Whom do you believe, the manager or the secretary?
7. Recent research on cigarette smoking has encouraged people to reconsider their affect on health.
8. He would play every weekend if you did not tell him about the need for a second job.
9. Patrick is the only one of the managers who are prepared.
10. After the speaker had finished the presentation, the audience left.

MountainHiker · Answer

You should register and you should also create a new thread.

I have given you my comments.

1. They came up with that generalization in a hastily manner.
2. The cappuccino tasted so bitter that no one asked for a refill.
3. It is very hard for him to turn off the television set and spend time leisurely reading a book.

3. is tricky because is he spending time leisurely, or is he reading a book leisurely?

3a. It is very hard for him to turn off the television set and spend time reading a book leisurely.

4. Give the award to whomever you think is best.
5. No one tells better jokes than he.
6. Whom do you believe, the manager or the secretary?
7. Recent research on cigarette smoking has encouraged people to reconsider the affect on their health.
8. He would play every weekend if you did not tell him about the need for a second job. [acceptable]
8a. He would play every weekend if you did not tell him about his need for a second job. [alternative]
9. Patrick is the only one of the managers who is prepared.
10. After the speaker had finished the presentation, the audience left.

MountainHiker

Luve · Answer

Wonderful job,
Thanks for your times and efforts for edited my essay.
Anyway, I need some ideas or strategies over writing a good essay.
I found it difficulty as a foreign student. One main reason is to convert my language in to English which seem unfit. This happened occasionally and pushed my into a bottom of a deep hole alone. Anyway, thanks again for evryone here for a warm and helpful heart.

Editing needed

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