Edit my motivation letter

I am trying to ask for help to edit my motivation letter for scholarship for postgraduate studies. I used to see many letters and adapted it. I am still not sure how my letter sounds. Could you please go through it and tell me your opinion?

Regards.

Hiba


First I would like to express my appreciation for this opportunity to apply for British Chevening scholarships.

My entire background has been in statistics, math and modeling. I graduated from University of Khartoum with bachelor degree in Statistics & Computer Science in May 2005. Recently, I have finished Master degree, majoring in System Dynamics program at University of Bergen (Norway) in August 2011, my thesis is about modeling for Visceral Leishmanias Epidemic. It is worth mentioning that, the master thesis has considerably enriched my experience in the field of epidemiology research.

If biology is the most exquisite creation by God and mathematics the language that God uses to describe the universe, then mathematical biology is a wonderful fusion of the two. I believe that in constructing the great Leviathan by human intellectual enterprise, mathematical biology is bound to serve as one of the cornerstones in the development of the life science. To be able to contribute to this grand enterprise has always been my innermost aspiration.

I’m strongly willing to expand my knowledge in the field of mathematical biology because mathematical models have played an important role in advancing our understanding of almost all areas of biology. My ultimate desire, to design mathematical models to study various aspects, especially in the biology area, has inspired me to apply for the project of ‘Mathematical models for macroparasite epidemiology‘at University of Bath. This project will develop mathematical models to explore the epidemiological dynamics and control of some of the macroparasite infections that are quietly responsbile for a significant proportion of debilitating disease throughout much of the world. I believe that offered project is providing a golden opportunity for me to explore and realize closely different analysis tools and advanced techniques which will definitely going to increase my experiences on both academicals and practical fields.

Owing to limited resources, I have not been able to proceed with further studies here in Sudan or elsewhere as I lack the necessary funds. I would be grateful to be provided with sponsorship to further my education and build a career and British Chevening scholarship will be immensely helpful. My future potential employer especially in the public sector such as local universities and research organisations will be a good channel where I can transfer the knowledge gained in an optimized manner to my country and future generations.

In addition I will get a chance through British Chevening scholarship to interact with students from diverse professional and cultural backgrounds drawn from all over the world. The exposure is important for interaction and integration of diverse ideas and perspectives pertaining to various global issues; for the world is a mosaic of different cultures and a single perspective cannot apply in all these cultures.

Finally I am determined to make the most out of the scholarship benefits. I will optimize my stay at Bath University to garner a wealth of ideas that will apply when I return to my country and at the same time contribute to a better Bath University and the British with my country Sudan.

Once again I am grateful for considering my application and I look forward to a positive response.

Sincerely yours,

Hiba