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Please let me know if there are any mistakes in the following supplement essay. Also I would like your opinion regarding it .

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HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT VASSAR AND WHAT ASPECTS OF OUR COLLEGE DO YOU FIND APPEALING?

Until a few months ago I was facing a quandary of deciding which colleges I should apply to. It was not an easy task for me at all because following were not just the next four years of my academics, but the next four years of my life. I was looking for a liberal arts college with a beautiful campus, which not only has a varied heritage but also provides value education to the students. My counselor then mentioned Vassar and advised me to look it up. After going through the college website in detail I knew it was where I wanted to study.

“Spirit of inquiry” and “Desire for intellectual challenge” are the words that exemplify me and Vassar clearly encourages its students into a deeper and broader education. Apart from this Vassar also prepares its students for the present world and helps them become accomplished individuals.

I was... [edited by mod upon request of OP] ...liberal arts college.

The College’s unique academic structure was another factor that appealed to me. Its interdisciplinary nature of the UG program is apt for me as it will help me integrate and choose from various subject combinations. For example, even though I’m interested for a major in anthropology, I also have an inclination for English literature and Jewish studies.

Although... [edited by mod upon request of OP] ...will help me do all of that.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Hi Soka; I've added some personal opionions...

Until a few months ago I was facing a quandary (usually we say "in a quandary" - or "facing a decision." to mean in an unsettled state of mind over an important point) of deciding which colleges I should apply to. It was not an easy task for me at all because following were not just the next four years of my academics, but the next four years of my life. I was looking for a liberal arts college with a beautiful campus, which not only has a varied ("varied" is an odd choice here - in some contexts it would not be flattering ) heritage but also provides value (do you mean education in personal ethics and morality, or an educcation of high quality?) education to the students. My counselor then (when?) mentioned Vassar and advised me to look it up ("look it up" is quite informal; it is not necessary to the sentence). After going through the college website in detail I knew it was where I wanted to study.

“Spirit of inquiry” and “Desire for intellectual challenge” are the words that exemplify me and (the two thoughts are not closely enough connected to put in one sentence with a conjunction) Vassar clearly encourages its students into a deeper and broader education. Apart from this Vassar also prepares its students for the present world and helps them
become accomplished individuals.

The College’s unique academic structure was another factor that appealed
to me. Its interdisciplinary nature of the UG (spell out an abbreviation) program is apt for me as it will help me integrate (?) and choose from various subject combinations. For example, even though I’m interested in ~~for~~ a major in anthropology, I also have an inclination for English literature and Jewish studies.

Soka · Answer

Thank you so much AS. A few things:

1. Until a few months ago I was in a quandary of deciding which colleges I should apply to. Is this correct?

2. I was looking for a liberal arts college with a beautiful campus, which not only has a varied ( which term would be appropriate) heritage but also provides value (I mean both-education in personal ethics and morality, an educcation of high quality? Which term could i use?) education to the students.

3. I seeked help from my counselor who advised me to look up Vassar College. After going through the college website in detail I knew it was where I wanted to study. Is this correct? In what other way can I frame it?

4. “Spirit of inquiry” and “Desire for intellectual challenge”.... I mean to tell them that I have that curiosity in me. Also I crave for intellectual challange and critical thinking which a good college provides. How can I put it?

5.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

1. Until a few months ago I was in a quandary, deciding which colleges I should apply to.
2. I was looking for a liberal arts college with a beautiful campus, which not only has a varied ( which term would be appropriate - It depends on what you mean - humanist, rich, long, distinguished, proud, multi-cultural,... ) heritage but also provides value (I mean both-education in personal ethics and morality, an educcation of high quality? Which term could i use? Value is ambiguous - if you want to express both qualities, then use two descriptive words or phrases.) education to the students.
3. I seeked (sought) help from my counselor who advised me to look up (consider, appraise) Vassar College. After going through the college website in detail I knew it was where I wanted to study. Is this correct? In what other way can I frame it?

4. “Spirit of inquiry” and “Desire for intellectual challenge”.... I mean to tell them that I have that curiosity in me. Also I crave for intellectual challange and critical thinking which a good college provides. How can I put it? Were these quotes from the web site? If so, then attribute them (otherwise, it raises the question if these are your own quotation) and say these phrases resonated with your ideals of education. - or some words to that effect.

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