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New2grammar Posted 18 years ago
Grammar

eco fishing

Day gently breaks. On the northern shore of Bali, fishermen are heading out to catch ornamental fish. The ocean floor, which used to be covered with healty beautiful coral, is now a coral graveyard. Fishermen have been catching the fish with arsenide, a chemical that stuns fish also kills 2 square kilometres of coral in just one month with a single deadly squirt. A fisherman said when he was young, the coral was beautiful and there were plenty of fish. An environmentalist is trying to promote the use of nets. In just 6 years, since the fisherman on this part of the island made the switch, the result is amazing. There are plenty of colorful fish and their incomes have tripled.

Are there any mistakes?
Thanks
  

Top answer

Day gently breaks. On the northern shore of Bali, fishermen are heading out to catch ornamental fish. The ocean floor, which used to be covered with beautiful healthy coral, is now a coral graveyard.

— Mr Wordy

  • Day gently breaks.
  • On the northern shore of Bali, fishermen are heading out to catch ornamental fish.
  • The ocean floor, which used to be covered with beautiful healthy coral, is now a coral graveyard.
  • Fishermen have been catching the fish with arsenide, a chemical that stuns fish but also kills 2 two square kilometers [US spelling] of coral in just one month with a single deadly squirt [A single squirt kills two square km?
  • ] .
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6 Answers
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Day gently breaks. On the northern shore of Bali, fishermen are heading out to catch ornamental fish. The ocean floor, which used to be covered with beautiful healthy coral, is now a coral graveyard. Fishermen have been catching the fish with arsenide, a chemical that stuns fish but also kills 2 two square kilometers [US spelling] of coral in just o
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Thanks, Mr. Wordy. As usual, I have a couple of follow-up questions.

F
Mr WordyIn just 6 six years, since the fishermen on this part of the island made the switch, the result is amazing
1. Does this sentence bring you to the future, six years later? Before this sentence, the paragraph is talking about the past, the coral grave
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1. You mean that all the stuff about coral graveyards and arsenide happened six years ago? No, that's not at all how I understood it; I understood the present tense to be referring to the present. I assumed that the last part about adopting net fishing six years ago was referring to a different part of the island. But actually, now I look again, "this part of the island" implies that you're
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Mr Wordyin just six years" might be a struggle.
Thank you, Mr Wordy. One more question, what would you say instead to achieve the effect that I wanted?
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New2grammarwhat would you say instead to achieve the effect that I wanted?
To be honest, I'm not sure. It seems tricky. (Well, one option would be to write the past events in the past tense, but I guess that's not the effect you want, otherwise that's what you would have done.) In any case, I think the reader needs to be given a cue right at the start. I also t
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I see. I think I know why it works well for the documentary. Here you try to seperate the two different times using formatting and dots. The same effect was easily achieved by a break in taping. Actually, I don't recall the narator using 'later' in her narration at all. She may have used present perfect tense. Teh reason I didn't choose the past tense was that the present tense is more suitable w
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