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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Letter Writing

E-mail to a customer

Would you please check my e-mail?
"Dear Sir,
we would be very proud of showing you our innovative machine operating, therefore we could arrange a demonstration for you in our factory in Lion at any date, or, if you prefer at our customer's yard in Marseille during the week from February 2 sd to February 6 th.
We will be very pleased to have you as our guest so please, let us know which date and place will suit you.
We look forward to hearing from you"
Thank you very much.
  

Top answer

Anonymous "Dear Sir, We would be very proud to show you our innovative machine operation, to facilitate this, we could arrange a demonstration for you in our factory at Lyon on any date, or, if you prefer at our customer's yard at Marseille during the week from February 2nd to February 6th. We would be very pleased to have you as our guest, so please, let us know which date and place would suit you. We look forward to hearing from you" Thank you very much.

  • Anonymous "Dear Sir, We would be very proud to show you our innovative machine operation, to facilitate this, we could arrange a demonstration for you in our factory at Lyon on any date, or, if you prefer at our customer's yard at Marseille during the week from February 2nd to February 6th.
  • We would be very pleased to have you as our guest, so please, let us know which date and place would suit you.
  • We look forward to hearing from you" Thank you very much.
  • My suggestions in purple colour above.
  • This is in a nice formal style, and as such, I have kept to the same.
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2 Answers
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Anonymous"Dear Sir,
We would be very proud to show you our innovative machine operation, to facilitate this, we could arrange a demonstration for you in our factory at Lyon on any date, or, if you prefer at our customer's yard at Marseille during the week from February 2nd to February 6th.
We would be very pleased to have you as our guest, so please, let us know
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We would be very pleased to host you for a visit to show you our innovative machine in operation. To facilitate this, we would like to arrange a dem

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