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Nnema Posted 13 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Duties - essay

Could anyone help me with my essay? It would help me a lot to know what are the most common mistakes I do when writing.

Thanks a lot!

The essays topic: People should sometimes do things they do not enjoy doing.

The question whether people ought to do only things they enjoy doing or whether
they are supposed to do also the things they really do not enjoy doing is
really not that easily answerable. In the following lines I am going to try to
explain the reasons why I believe that people should sometimes do what is
needed to be done.

The first and one of the most important reasons for doing something unpleasant
is that it can help people to develop personally. By doing so, people learn to
appreciate other things they prefer doing even more. Moreover, I believe that
it is not possible to avoid doing everything we do not want to do. Sometimes,
one has no other choice than to stop complaining and start doing whatever is
needed. Therefore, it is handy to be able to do what is expected to be done.

Furthermore, doing things people would not do on their own can help them to
solve current problems they might be having. Imagine someone who is really
struggling when trying to learn how to cook. By preparing notes about heating
and cooling for his physics exam, he could finally understand why his cooking
experiments did not go well so far.

Apart from that, by doing unpleasant things, it could easily happen that one
finds something new about things he thought he already knew pretty well. Such
as someone who travels to work by following some path every day and is given a
task to deliver a package somewhere. This way he finds about a new shortcut he
would not normally discover.

In the previous three paragraphs I have tried to explain why I believe that
people need to do things they would not normally choose to do. However, it is
clear that people should also be able to do things they really enjoy doing.
Otherwise, they may stop being humans and start being robots instead.
  

Top answer

Not a native speaker so I might be wrong at times. In other words, make sure you double check stuff I am telling you. Here are the bits and pieces that comes to mind: The question whether people ought to do only things they enjoy doing or whether(delete) they are supposed to do also the things they really(delete) do not enjoy doing is really not that easily answerable.

  • Not a native speaker so I might be wrong at times.
  • In other words, make sure you double check stuff I am telling you.
  • Here are the bits and pieces that comes to mind: The question whether people ought to do only things they enjoy doing or whether(delete) they are supposed to do also the things they really(delete) do not enjoy doing is really not that easily answerable.
  • Too wordy!
  • split it up into two sentences.
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4 Answers
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Not a native speaker so I might be wrong at times. In other words, make sure you double check stuff I am telling you.

Here are the bits and pieces that comes to mind:

The question whether people ought to do only things they enjoy doing or whether(delete)
they are supposed to do als
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Really helpful.
Thanks a lot!
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I checked this site called http://proofreadingmalaysia.com and it is awesome for English editing

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