Does Your Script Smell?

Question

I posted a few articles over on MWS to try and stimulate some screenwring conversation - didn't work ("Starmaker" is posting his usual crap, as is Dr. Jai)... so maybe I'll have more luck posting here?
DOES YOUR SCRIPT SMELL?
by William C. Martell
Novelists, short story writers and poets are free to use all six senses in telling their stories. They can use hearing: the sound of a far away foghorn, dialogue between characters. Smell: the pleasant odor of a pine wood fire on an autumn day. Sight: showing an incident or a character doing something that moves the story forward. Touch: the smooth feel of velvet, hot asphalt on bare feet on a summer day. Taste: sweet and sour pork, that strange aftertaste from hot Ovaltine. Even that sixth sense can be used: there's a weird telepathic link between the characters and the reader in a novel... we often know what they are thinking and feeling.
But screenwriters are limited to only two of the senses to tell our stories: Sight and Sound. That's what makes screenwriting so difficult. We only have a third of the tools of a novelist to tell our stories, and we don't even get the good tools! This means that some stories that can be easily told in a novel are impossible to tell on the screen. Some scenes that are used to explore character or move the plot forward in a novel or short story are impossible to use in a screenplay.

For the rest of the article:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/sight.htm
- Bill

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[nq:1]I posted a few articles over on MWS to try and stimulate some screenwring conversation - didn't work ("Starmaker" is ... novel or short story are impossible to use in a screenplay. For the rest of the article: http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/sight.htm - Bill[/nq]
I've been repeatedly told that my scripts stink, Bill. Is that the same thing? ;-)
Nice point, actually.

Every holiday ought to be named Labor Day. If we could ever get vacations down to where you wasn't any more tired on the day one was over than on a regular work day, it would be wonderful.
Will Rogers

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Your overall point, that it's much harder work to use the other senses in a screenplay than a novel, is very well taken. But esp. smell being so evocative, I don't think it should be lightly dismissed from the toolbox,...how many times have we been aroused or repelled by a character who sniffs at a girl's neck? Moved by someone who crushes their departed loved one's coat to their face and breathes deep?

I think you may have missed the interplay of dialog & movement to communicate other senses in your smell example, you can set up Kate's dislike or allergy to strong perfumes (setup), have her move the flowers as you stated (build), then the payoff can be any number of ways, specific to disliking flowery scents, from an ironic remark (Richard Curtis did this a lot for Hugh Grant in his good movies) that the audience gets that Ken doesn't, to kate's eyes watering, lots of ways to pay that off.
In your 2nd example, I see a LOT of Chinese movies where the taste/smell of food is key, Eat Drink Man Woman, Wedding Banquet, etc.

I have an especially strong grudge against the cliche "Remember, the first rule of film is Show Don't Tell." it's bandied about quite a bit in novel-writin' class, too, and it's almost useless to a writer who has gotten past the enthused beginner stage. Perhaps something like "make reader EXPERIENCE, don't tell her" would be more accurate? If you doubt me, go rent Afterglow and view the storytelling scene at the restaurant. Julie Christie's character is telling telling telling, but becuase of where the scene is, what it's doing, and the mystery (which we didn't even know was a mystery) revealed, we EXPERIENCE it!

Moments of dawning realization can make a film transcend mediocrity, thinking now of Keir Dullea's character and computer Hal, In The Bedroom, etc. etc. Yah, they should be saved for key moments, where misinterpretation is impossible because the writer has done the hard setup work, and the moment of realization should be nested in action so the internal struggle meets the external conflict in that orgasmic moment of real storytelling, but to suggest that every emotion can be externalized into action may be an exaggeration. I think now of Man on a Train (french, hope I haven't garbled the title)...

One reason that many good novels are made into bad films is that the writer doesn't find a way to focus the story, strip the themes down to one dominant one, prune the plot, etc. It's not really whether the film or novel is good or bad, but whether or not a spine can be found and built upon.

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Excellent piece, Bill. I've always felt that smell is a sense that's been radically underused in fiction and especially film, a shame given the fact that it's the one sense that actually brings memories back to vivid life like no other. Sometimes I'll catch a whiff of something that smells like my old grade school and next thing I know I'm back there, with all the stress and anxiety of those years boiling back up to the surface. I know it was intended as a joke, but I've always felt that John Waters' "Odorama" was actually kind of a cool idea, though "scent machines" located at key points of the theatre would be more effective than scratch and sniff cards.

I think that scent is especially important (and can be used to great effect) in horror films. I'm reminded of certain scenes from films as obscure as "Zombie" and as mainstream as "Seven" that have practically had me pinching my nose in disgust. One of the reasons most of the film adaptations of H.P. Lovecraft's work (even the good ones) are missing something is because they lack the "attention" to scent that the Old Gentleman of Providence was so fond of using in his stories.

Cheers,
B

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Oh my, weren't you fooled!
Bill was just faking us out. He's writing "Stinky ****: The Movie" for a Chinese company. First one on MWS to be filmed in China, I predict.

Not the first one on MWS who should BE film in China, but that's another sense entirely.
[nq:1]Your overall point, that it's much harder work to use the other senses in a screenplay than a novel, is ... the film or novel is good or bad, but whether or not a spine can be found and built upon.[/nq]
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Calvin Coolidge

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Many of my scripts stink.
By the way, lots of screenwriters in Vancouver would attend your screenwriting workshop if you were to come here.

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(Sorry for the late reply; I've had (and still have) problems posting. This message is a reply to Bill Martell's "Does Your Script Smell")
Hi,
I've been occasionally reading MWSM out of curiosity ever since it showed up on my news server, but now this article has prompted me to come out of lurking (Hi, Mom!).
It seems to me that one way of solving this problem of transferring smell, taste, touch, or "sixth sense" information to the screen is to use a narrator, be it one of the characters of the movie, or an omniscient outsider.
While it may not work for every script, it's not hard to think of a few highly regarded movies that have used this device successfully (like Fight Club, The Shawshank Redemption, or American Beauty).

I understand it is not a very popular device as is very novel-like, and a movie is not a novel, but as long as you use it as an addition to regular movie story-telling devices, and not as a replacement, it seems to me that you would be taking the best of both worlds.

The interplay between the narrator and the words and the actions of the characters can even add an extra dimension to a movie. One which would not be possible in a novel. The narrator could describe what to do, a character would say he's going to do something else, and do yet another thing.
Taking one of Bill's examples, I've tried to put this into script form, guided by the way I imagine the audience will experience the scene, rather than by any screenwriting guidelines (apart from the formatting).
What do you think?
Serge

INT. DINING ROOM EVENING
Larry and Margie are sitting at a stylefully dressed table. The lighting is romantic, and some slow jazz music is playing in the background.

LARRY (V.O.)
That night, I came home to a five star
restaurant. Margie had spent the whole
day working the microwave, guided by
the expert skills of seven Jamie Oliver
tapes.
Larry takes his first bite of the food. Margie eyes him in anticipation.

LARRY
Tastes good.
Margie smiles contentedly.
LARRY (V.O.)
It was the first time I ever ate
anything quite this unpleasant.
LARRY
Interesting combination of spices.
Margie keeps smiling, getting rather smug.
MARGIE
I experimented a bit.
LARRY (V.O.)
I had the slight suspicion that
the oregano and cinnamon came in
very similar containers.
etc.

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X-No-archive: yes
[nq:1](Sorry for the late reply; I've had (and still have) problems posting. This message is a reply to Bill Martell's ... bit. LARRY (V.O.) I had the slight suspicion that the oregano and cinnamon came in very similar containers. etc. ==[/nq]
Boy, the things you can learn. They make dishes with both cinnamon and oregano in the Netherlands. Sure that's oregano in that bag?

;-)

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[nq:1]While it may not work for every script, it's not hard to think of a few highly regarded movies that have used this device successfully (like Fight Club, The Shawshank Redemption, or American Beauty).[/nq]
Here's the problem.
While it's absolutely true that there are people who shout "no voiceovers, ever!" and that they obviously are wrong, there's one other major issue:
There are LOTS of ways to reveal internal states in film, and the most important one is the hardest to do right: externalizing internal states through behavior.
This is an absolutely crucial skill for a screenwriter. But when new screenwriters decide that it's okay for them to write voiceovers, they never learn it. There are, it's true, times when a voiceover is appropriate. It's one tool in your toolbox. But sometimes it's not the best tool for the job and if you don't develop those other skills, then you're the proverbial carpenter who only has a hammer, for whom everything looks like a nail.
A second problem is that unlike revealing internal states through behavior, vo narration, when it happens in the middle of a scene, tends to destroy the reality of the scene. You can't get involved emotionally in a scene when it's constantly being interrupted (even if those eruptions are amusing). Film works by generating empathy you feel what the protaganist feels, as if you were him but it's hard to have empathy with someone who's talking to you.
(Although it should be noticed that this really applies much more to little voiceover asides within a scene than to context-generating voiceover between scenes or at the beginning or end of a film).

So, with those two things in mind, let's look at your scene.
[nq:1]== INT. DINING ROOM EVENING Larry and Margie are sitting at a stylefully dressed table. The lighting is romantic, ... restaurant. Margie had spent the whole day working the microwave, guided by the expert skills of seven Jamie Oliver tapes.[/nq]
Notice how many lines you spend describing his internal state here but how little I know about the scene! Are they relaxed? Nervous? Is she excited about him trying it? Scared? How comfortable are they with each other?
There's nothing wrong with this, IMO, but there are so many other ways to establish what's going on here which might give you more.
[nq:1]Larry takes his first bite of the food. Margie eyes him in anticipation. LARRY Tastes good. Margie smiles contentedly. LARRY (V.O.) It was the first time I ever ate anything quite this unpleasant. LARRY Interesting combination of spices.[/nq]
And this is cute kind of funny, actually but again, you could find a detail to show it. How does somebody react when they eat something terrible but want to hide it? There are lots of other ways to make this point. I'm not crazy about the one you chose (I don't think it's wrong, exactly, just a little heavy and slow) but the point is that at least you should be making a choice, and understanding what your alternatives are, so you can decide based on which is best, not on which you're aware of.
[nq:1]Margie keeps smiling, getting rather smug. MARGIE I experimented a bit. LARRY (V.O.) I had the slight suspicion that the oregano and cinnamon came in very similar containers.[/nq]
And of course you end the scene here, on the most problematic one. Because what's going on here, in the scene, while we're listening to him talk to us?
("About a Boy," which some people loved, had this problem in spades. There would be long voiceovers while the actors had to just sort of stand there in suspended animation blinking at each other.)

And, of course, it's harder to judge how it really works in terms of breaking the reality of the moment when it's just a little dashed - off moment and not part of a real script.
-Ron

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Comments below:
[nq:1]Taking one of Bill's examples, I've tried to put this into script form, guided by the way I imagine the ... "slight" or better "I had the slight suspicion"), but it's still intellectual, not sensory for me. Your mileage may vary.[/nq]
Mysti

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One more thought about voice-over...because it is a highly stylized device, you really have to write the **** out of it. It's got to be soaked in mood & wit, or really specific & unique humor (Scrubs), or **** as ****, etc.
Gentle ironic asides just aren't going to work, I think, no matter how well written. Just my opinion this morning as I dose the cat with antibiotics (the vet was proud of her for getting an abcess on her head, not her tail end where most cats get them running away, she said. "You can tell she was giving them ****."), don the rare dress up clothes and motor off to the jack london writers conference, where I predict my girl-and-her-horse-and-her-tribe-and-international-warfare won't win a prize...sigh...but it's okay, it's novel and I'm a beginning novelist

Mysti

Does Your Script Smell?

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