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Hanelliot Posted 16 years ago
Grammar

Does this sound right?

Any help appreciated!

Also, since there needs to be a research done on culture based IT covergence in a future, I plan to start up a joint research with CEWIT of New York. CEWIT of Stonybrook University has done a wide variety of wireless-related researches, but haven't linked them with any data-broadcasting related researches. Therefore, I plan to pursue a research linking both of them together. At the present time, research on Program on Demand solution field of Back End is unsatisfactory compared to Data broadcasting delivery of broadcast video and program production field. I have finished a preliminary research on the subject, and plan to pursue further research.
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas: Also, since there needs to be a research done on culture based IT covergence in a future , I plan to start up a joint research with CEWIT of New York. CEWIT of Stonybrook University has done a wide variety of wireless-related researches , but haven't linked them with any data-broadcasting related researches . Therefore, I plan to pursue a research linking both of them together .

  • I have underlined some problem areas: Also, since there needs to be a research done on culture based IT covergence in a future , I plan to start up a joint research with CEWIT of New York.
  • CEWIT of Stonybrook University has done a wide variety of wireless-related researches , but haven't linked them with any data-broadcasting related researches .
  • Therefore, I plan to pursue a research linking both of them together .
  • At the present time, research on Program on Demand solution field of Back End is unsatisfactory compared to Data broadcasting delivery of broadcast video and program production field.
  • I have finished a preliminary research on the subject , and plan to pursue further research.
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2 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas:

Also, since there needs to be a research done on culture based IT covergence in a future, I plan to start up a joint research with CEWIT of New York. CEWIT of Stonybrook University has done a wide variety of wireless-related researches, but haven't linked them with any data-broadcastin
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