Does this sound natural?
The officer fires at the man and jumps into cover behind the police car. The man falls to the ground and just lies there, groaning in pain. As the groaning stops, the officer cautiously peeks his head up from behind the police car to see the man lying dead on the ground.
Does this sound natural? Are the word choices natural? Please improve anything you might find if necessary.
Top answer
This would be more natural: The officer fires at the man and jumps into cover behind the police car. The man falls to the ground and just lies there, groaning in pain. When the groaning stops, the officer cautiously peeks his head out from behind the police car and sees the man lying dead on the ground.
- This would be more natural: The officer fires at the man and jumps into cover behind the police car.
- The man falls to the ground and just lies there, groaning in pain.
- When the groaning stops, the officer cautiously peeks his head out from behind the police car and sees the man lying dead on the ground.
- or The officer fires at the man and jumps into cover behind the police car.
- The man falls to the ground and just lies there, groaning in pain.
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This would be more natural:
The officer fires at the man and jumps into cover behind the police car. The man falls to the ground and just lies there, groaning in pain. When the groaning stops, the officer cautiously peeks his head out from behind the police car and sees the man lying dead on the ground.
or
The officer fires at the man and jumps into cover behind the poli
0
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