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Yeldar Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Does this sentence sound awkward?

Hello,

I would like to know if the phrasing of this sentence sounds awkward or incorrect or could be put in better words.

"A Harvard University lecture on Political Philosophy. The lecture sheds light on some Philosophical principles upon which some political currents are based"

Thank you very much in advance.
  

Top answer

"A Harvard University lecture on Political Philosophy. There is no verb. The lecture sheds light on some Philosophical principles upon which some political currents are based" The use of 'some' twice makes this statement weak and imprecise.

— Clive

  • "A Harvard University lecture on Political Philosophy.
  • There is no verb.
  • The lecture sheds light on some Philosophical principles upon which some political currents are based" The use of 'some' twice makes this statement weak and imprecise.
  • I suggest eg The lecture will shed light on philosophical principles upon which political currents are based.
  • Can you find a better word than 'currents'?
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2 Answers
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"A Harvard University lecture on Political Philosophy.Is this a title?There is no verb.

The lecture sheds light on some Philosophical principles upon which some political currents are based"
The use of 'some' twice makes this statement weak and imprecise. I suggest
eg The lecture w
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Thank you for replying, Clive.

Yes this is a title, I should have said that is my question.
Thanks for pointing out to the use of "some" twice. It does make it sound a little weak.
As for the use of the word current, I can't thing of any other word instead of it right now, but I'll try to find something better later.

Thank you very much for your remarks.
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