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JJDouglas Posted 10 years ago
Grammar
Does this sentence require a rewrite/any further punctuation?
"Other people have contracted asbestos-related diseases because they worked at or near asbestos factories or dumps, or because the asbestos present in their offices and factories was disturbed during alterations or refurbishment of the premises."
This is a sentence I came across in proofing. First of all, I don't believe a comma is strictly needed after "dumps". I don't recall any rule saying otherwise, so I'm inclined to remove it. However, without it the sentence seems too much, especially with the amount of "or"s that are in it. (Then again, comma or not, the amount of "or"s still bothers me.)
Does the sentence read fine as it is, or would you suggest a full rewrite? If you think the sentence is fine, would you vote for the comma to stay or be removed? Is there any further punctuation that could be added to make it clearer?
This is a sentence I came across in proofing. First of all, I don't believe a comma is strictly needed after "dumps". I don't recall any rule saying otherwise, so I'm inclined to remove it. However, without it the sentence seems too much, especially with the amount of "or"s that are in it. (Then again, comma or not, the amount of "or"s still bothers me.)
Does the sentence read fine as it is, or would you suggest a full rewrite? If you think the sentence is fine, would you vote for the comma to stay or be removed? Is there any further punctuation that could be added to make it clearer?
Top answer
I agree that the "or" in question is not required, but it is a good idea to leave it is for clarity. The word "or" does occur a few times in the sentence, but I feel they are necessary. I would leave the sentence as it is.
- I agree that the "or" in question is not required, but it is a good idea to leave it is for clarity.
- The word "or" does occur a few times in the sentence, but I feel they are necessary.
- I would leave the sentence as it is.
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2 Answers
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I agree that the "or" in question is not required, but it is a good idea to leave it is for clarity. The word "or" does occur a few times in the sentence, but I feel they are necessary. I would leave the sentence as it is.
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EnglishmavenI agree that the "or" in question is not required, but it is a good idea to leave it is for clarity.Sorry, but did you mean the comma in question?
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