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Spooner Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Does this sentence need correction?

It’s my sincere hope that my troubled heart and the current situation reaches your heart
so I could have one last chance to live normally without any violence or threats.

HI,

I am in the middle of writing a story in which the character who has filed a refuge claim is writing a letter to a immigration case officer. And above is how the character wants to end the letter.

2 questions:

1. Does the phrase my troubled heart and the current situation reaches your heart read well to native speakers?

2. Regarding "could", should the tense be changed to "can"?
  

Top answer

1. - - No, it is quite odd; it sounds like a direct translation from another language 2. -- Yes, that is a good idea.

— Mister Micawber

  • 1.
  • - - No, it is quite odd; it sounds like a direct translation from another language 2.
  • -- Yes, that is a good idea.
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3 Answers
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1. Does the phrase 'my troubled heart and the current situation reaches your heart' read well to native speakers?-- No, it is quite odd; it sounds like a direct translation from another language

2. Regarding "could", should the tense be changed to "can"?-- Yes, that is a good idea.
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however, shouldn't it be: my troubled heart and the current situation REACH your heart?

without -es, it isn't third person singular.
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Would there be more idiomatic expression that could replace "reaching one's heart" and mean something along the lines of "I hope my telling you about my feelings and situation would have an impact on your making decision."?
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