Does this sentence make sense?

Question

I enjoy the town living nearby, and more importantly, the possibility to work for its historic commission.

Is the above sentence grammatically correct and make sense? I mean I enjoy the town and live nearby, not I enjoy a town living nearby, but I think that is clear, right? Also, it is clear I mean I would enjoy working for the historic commission in the second part of the sentence? Thank you!

Is the above sentence fine or should it be changed to something like:

I enjoy the town and live nearby, and more importantly, I am excited at the possibility to work for its historic commission.

I think the first may be better writing but am not sure, and maybe the second sentence would be better.

Thank you!!

Philip · Accepted Answer

I enjoy the town I'm living near; more importantly, I appreciate the possibility to work for its historic commission.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

I enjoy the town since I am living nearby, and more importantly, I would love to work for its historic commission.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you for the help. I am not trying to say I enjoy the town I'm living near but rather, I enjoy the town living nearby, kind of like, I enjoy the town so much that I live nearby it.

AlpheccaStars: I enjoy the town since I am living nearby, and more importantly, I would love to work for its historic commission.

This is better. Thank you! Is this better than what I have? I feel like it is inferred on what I mean, and for some reason, I feel using 'since' and other words, break the flow of what I am trying to achieve.

Can I write: I enjoy the town living nearby, and more importantly, I would love to work for its historic commission

Or use Alphe's?

Thank you!

Anonymous · Answer

This might be okay if the phrase "town living" (e.g.:  as opposed to "country living") has been previously established in connection with this city area.  That is, living in this area is known locally as "town living."    So then "town living nearby" (this phrase has a nice, novel ring to it) would mean living right in the center of this city area.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you. This gave another insight into the sentence that I enjoyed. Unfortunately, that is not what I mean but, I am trying to capture that 'novel ring'.

Anonymous · Answer

I think the original sentence is okay, as written, no matter what it is exactly that you're trying to say.  The reader can derive his own conclusions from the sentence.  This is the mark of good writing.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you. I like Alphe's suggestion as well.

Anonymous · Answer

AnonymousI enjoy the town living nearby

That's really awkward phrasing. t implies the town is doing the nearby living, and that you enjoy that fact.

Firstly, I'd switch the tense from present to present perfect. Then I'd make "living nearby" into the thing that you enjoy doing. So, you'd say, "I've enjoyed living near the town".

Anonymous, and more importantly,

You have a tricky grammar error here.

By putting the comma before the "and", you're joining two related sentences into one. You meant to use the comma parenthetically. (I had to do a double take on the second half of the sentence until I realized the sentence was still about "I enjoy".) The correct way to write this would be "and, more importantly,". The pair of commas around "more importantly" set it apart from the rest of sentence structure as additional information.

AnonymousI enjoy the town and live nearby, and more importantly, I am excited at the possibility to work for its historic commission.

In your second version, you're correctly using the comma to join sentences. When you join sentences, the second sentence needs its own subject and verb. You reestablish that with "I am". You would still need another comma to parenthesize the "more importantly". You'd write "... nearby, and, more importantly, I am excited ...".

Making the fixes to the first sentence, we have:
"I've enjoyed living near the town and, more importantly, the possibility to work for its historic commission."

Clearly, fixing the tense for the first part of the sentence broke it for the second part. Since we need to switch tenses now, we really do need two sentences (either joined or separate). I actually like the phrasing you use for the second part (being excited at the possibility). I just don't like that you have three ideas stacked in once sentence. Let's apply the fix to the first part of the first version to the second part of the second version:
"I've enjoyed living near the town, and, more importantly, I'm excited at the possibility to work for its historic commission."

As a personal preference, if you're excited about something, then you probably don't need to point out the importance of that view. It cleans up well if we drop the "more importantly" bit altogether. So my final recommendation is:

"I've enjoyed living near the town, and I'm excited at the possibility to work for its historic commission."

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you so much!!!! You are a life saver. I read your suggestions carefully, and will look at it even more, to make sure I learn from it.

You captured exactly what I want to say. I should have been able to write it like how you did, so I am disappointed. You were able to decipher on what I was trying to write. Thank you again!

Anonymous · Answer

I disagree with the other posters' suggestions on "correcting" the original sentence.  Of course, you can rewrite it in many forms, all of which might be considered "more grammatical," but I like the sentence as originally written, especially the phrase "I enjoy the town living nearby."  This is a little unconventional grammatically, but that's what I like about it.  It doesn't sound like it was copied verbatim out of a grammar textbook.  It's a little nebulous, and the reader is not exactly sure what you mean, but that's good writing.  The reader draws his own conclusions about the meaning, the sign of a good writer's work.

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