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Tenacious Learner Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Does this plot line sound good to you? 'Gladiator'
Hi teachers,
Could you correct paragraph 'B' please?
The one below has been written by Mister Micawber:
Paragraph A
The great Roman General Maximus has come back victorious with his legions from the battlefield. What he wants now is to be home with his wife and son. But the emperor Marcus Aurelius wants him to be his heir. Marcus Aurelius tells his son, Commodus, that he will not be emperor and that the throne has been offered to General Maximus. Commodus kills his father in rage. When Maximus refuses to believe that Marcus died of natural causes, Commodus orders that Maximus and his family should be executed. Maximus is taken into the forest, but thanks to his martial skills he kills his executioners and escapes. Then he flees to Spain to try to save his family, but it is too late. When he arrives home, his wife and son are dead, crucified. He vows to take revenge, but he is captured by slave traders, taken to North Africa, and trained to be a gladiator. His fame as 'Gladiator' grows, and he reaches the Roman Coliseum.
To be continued …
Does this plot line sound good to you?
Paragraph B
Proximo the owner of the gladiators is called to participate in a marathon of gladiators games in the Roman Coliseum. There Maximus begins to win all his gladiatorial combats and he becomes one of the most famous and admired men, but at the same time Maximus is preparing the revenge of his wife and son’s deaths. The Emperor doesn’t suspect anything about it.
To be continued …
Thanks in advance.
Could you correct paragraph 'B' please?
The one below has been written by Mister Micawber:
Paragraph A
The great Roman General Maximus has come back victorious with his legions from the battlefield. What he wants now is to be home with his wife and son. But the emperor Marcus Aurelius wants him to be his heir. Marcus Aurelius tells his son, Commodus, that he will not be emperor and that the throne has been offered to General Maximus. Commodus kills his father in rage. When Maximus refuses to believe that Marcus died of natural causes, Commodus orders that Maximus and his family should be executed. Maximus is taken into the forest, but thanks to his martial skills he kills his executioners and escapes. Then he flees to Spain to try to save his family, but it is too late. When he arrives home, his wife and son are dead, crucified. He vows to take revenge, but he is captured by slave traders, taken to North Africa, and trained to be a gladiator. His fame as 'Gladiator' grows, and he reaches the Roman Coliseum.
To be continued …
Does this plot line sound good to you?
Paragraph B
Proximo the owner of the gladiators is called to participate in a marathon of gladiators games in the Roman Coliseum. There Maximus begins to win all his gladiatorial combats and he becomes one of the most famous and admired men, but at the same time Maximus is preparing the revenge of his wife and son’s deaths. The Emperor doesn’t suspect anything about it.
To be continued …
Thanks in advance.
Top answer
The one below has been written by Mister Micawber -- Not written; re- written!
- The one below has been written by Mister Micawber -- Not written; re- written!
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5 Answers
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The one below has been written by Mister Micawber -- Not written; re-written!
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Mister MicawberThe one below has been written by Mister Micawber -- Not written; re-written!Hi Mister Micawber,
That's right because you were the one who corrected and rewrote mine, the one I posted a few days ago.
TS
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Hi Mister Micawber,
Should I assume that paragraph 'B' is well-written in terms of expression?
TS
Should I assume that paragraph 'B' is well-written in terms of expression?
TS
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No. Since you spoke of me in the 3rd person, I presumed you were soliciting the advice of another member.
Proximo, the master of the gladiators, is called to participate in a marathon of gladiatorial games in the Roman Coliseum, where Maximus wins all of his combats and becomes one of the most admired fighters. However,
Proximo, the master of the gladiators, is called to participate in a marathon of gladiatorial games in the Roman Coliseum, where Maximus wins all of his combats and becomes one of the most admired fighters. However,
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Mister MicawberSince you spoke of me in the 3rd person, I presumed you were soliciting the advice of another member.Hi Mister Micawber,
Not at all. Thank you for your correction and thank you very much for correcting the first half of my piece. I did not want you to feel that I expected you to correct Part 2 but, of course, your comments on Part 2 are ver
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