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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Does this paragraph contain any grammar mistakes?
Life is too short not to try new things. It was something that my mom and I had heard about but never knew that there was a place here in Indianapolis that provided such a service. She found a business on the west side that did natural clay body wraps, and bought us two full treatments. I was so excited to get this done because I heard that you could lose inches of fat from just one session. I could remove all the bad toxins from my body and be treated like a queen in a fancy spa.
Top answer
When you use "It" we don't have a reference. At first, I thought it was referring back to your "Life's too short" quote. That second sentence needs a rewrite.
- When you use "It" we don't have a reference.
- At first, I thought it was referring back to your "Life's too short" quote.
- That second sentence needs a rewrite.
- Maybe your second sentence could start with "My mom found a business on the west side of Indianapolis that did natural clay body wraps.
- It was something we had heard about, but before that we hand't known of anyplace here in in Indianapolis that provided such a service.
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1 Answers
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When you use "It" we don't have a reference. At first, I thought it was referring back to your "Life's too short" quote. That second sentence needs a rewrite. Maybe your second sentence could start with "My mom found a business on the west side of Indianapolis that did natural clay body wraps. It was something we had heard about, but before that we hand't known of anyplace here in in Indianapolis
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