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Creativeguru Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

does this make sense? Please help

A school is like a canvas, the more colours you throw on it, student’s life becomes more beautiful, vibrant and lively.

Thanks
  

Top answer

You haven't got the "the more ... the more" parallel structure quite right. Also, the first comma is a comma splice.

— GPY

  • You haven't got the "the more ...
  • the more" parallel structure quite right.
  • Also, the first comma is a comma splice.
  • A school is like a canvas : the more colours you throw on it, the more beautiful, vibrant and lively the students' lives become.
  • I also changed "students" to plural.
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1 Answers
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You haven't got the "the more ... the more" parallel structure quite right. Also, the first comma is a comma splice.

A school is like a canvas: the more colours you throw on it, the more beautiful, vibrant and lively the students' lives become.

I also changed "students" to plural.
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