Does this make sense ?

I"m sorry, but no.

What issue of negligence? Who is being neglected? Neglect and violence are hardly the same thing. And "the flourishing of the assiduous students" sounds like you swallowed a thesaurus and "awareness of their surrounding multi-cultural society" is very trite.

Try saying what you want to say in simple words and you'll do better.

hey GG

You said " Neglect and violence are hardly the same thing".

But i do not agree.

Cause neglect means "not to do something you had to do"

and violence means " to do something you had not to do or you should not do"

also i can add this:

we use neglect when somebody forgot to do something

but we use violence when somebody do some

I think that's a very odd definition of violence.