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Sailsofoblivion Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Does this haiku make sense?

Hi, I was just wondering if someone could tell me if this haiku makes sense, both grammatically and in meaning.

‘Free’

A tear cascaded
From her eyes in joy: her dreams
Are finally free.

Thanks in advance!
Emma
  

Top answer

Yes, that generally works both grammatically and poetically. I might have said "joyous eyes" instead. However I suggest " were finally free" to bring it all into the past (vs past and present tense).

— Doctor D

  • Yes, that generally works both grammatically and poetically.
  • I might have said "joyous eyes" instead.
  • However I suggest " were finally free" to bring it all into the past (vs past and present tense).
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2 Answers
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Yes, that generally works both grammatically and poetically. I might have said "joyous eyes" instead. However I suggest "were finally free" to bring it all into the past (vs past and present tense).
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I don't know what it would mean for my dreams to be free. Free from what? Free to do what? It's puzzling.
It seems to me that dreams are realized or fulfilled, but "free" doesn't say that.

Other than that, your haiku seems fine to me, though I do agree with the previous poster that were is better than are.

CJ
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