Does this essay sound natural?

This is my sample for ielts speaking part 2. Hope you guys read it and give me some advice to make it sound more natural.

DESCRIBE AN ARTIST OR ENTERTAINER THAT YOU ADMIRE
I’ve chosen to talk about Ed Sheeran. I bet you’ve ever heard about his name before, haven’t you? He is considered as one of British’s hottest pop star these days and the most loved songwriter. His latest song called Shape of you was went viral online at that time and even became one of the most listened to worldwide.
I first heard his song in 2012 when Ed performed Lego House on Grammy Awards night and I instantly knew that this boy is going to be a huge pop star. His lyrics, his flow, his rhythm, his everything was absolutely on point. I immediately started searching for some of his other songs and before I realized I had become a huge fan of him.
For me, it is the lyrics is the key to his success. I just love how Ed plays with the lyrics, it is so pure, beautiful and absolutely relatable, I mean you can find something that you have been going through, something that connects to your soul as soon as you listen to his songs.
The reason I admire Ed is that he has worked hard for his success. I mean I appreciate the work that he puts into everything he does. Initially, his parents didn’t support his dream to become a singer. But then when he was 15 years old, he decided to quit schools and follow his dreams of making it in the music industry. And I think this is a daring decision that few people at his age have ever made. However, things did not go as planned. He ended up homeless, sleeping often on trains to get by, and this lasted around 3 years. Luckily, He didn’t give up. He spent multiple nights and days performing to small groups often without eating. Finally, he became successful, from a homeless artist to over the top artist. Ed’s story teaches me that there are no such things as an overnight success. It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome