Does the sentence need editing? It sounds redundant to me
Is the editing acceptable? How to improve?
The sentence;
But the one thing which interested me most of all was that in a glass case there was the first draft of tone of the President’s speeches, a second draft, and on and on up to the sixth draft.
The attempt to edit it:
But one thing which interested me most of all was that in a glass case there was the first draft of tone of the President’s speeches, a second, and up to the sixth.
Top answer
But the one thing which interested me most was a glass case containing complete series of up to six drafts of the President's speeches.
— Elanguest
But the one thing which interested me most was a glass case containing complete series of up to six drafts of the President's speeches.
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